DMSI 3.2 it's official

[mat422]

I slipped up today but I'm back on it. 2 loops seems to be keeping me on track more than one, less opportunity to mess about derailing myself. I've identified one of my strongest resistance tactics. It seems like what I thought was healing was detaching from the influence of the sub. Basically DMSI pushes me to do something, it doesn't feel good, I release or let go of what I thought was anxiety but was actually the instructions from dmsi. No anxiety, but no execution either. Then the rationalization that because the anxiety is gone I am in someway moving forward. This sets up reinforcement for continuing to detach from the influence of the sub under the false assumption I'll achieve results sometime in the future. It's a feedback loop of resistance being reinforced.

Overall I just needlessly complicate everything. I stopped today and asked myself "if I truly let go of control what would I be doing right now?" I realize the healing is taking place, but the more I heal the more I get closer to the goal which causes me to pull back. But the healing has to be in the context of actually executing the program, otherwise I'm stalling.

I think the hardest part of DMSI is sometimes the delusion that you are heading in the right direction but it's wrong. Weird because the tv show I'm watching at the moment has a whole section on delusions and how they alter your reality. Obviously it's not a delusion if you can see it's a delusion.