Day 15 break dsmi B
Still having this turmoil and incredible tiredness. I feel like I can sleep for days yet this turmoil is also my drive to step up financially and creation wise. Im having several ideas to execute now. I dont do deadlines, I tackle head on. My drive is enormous but probably having some guilt surfacing. Whatever is happening, my texting feels totally off. Probably because I dont want to go through with T. Its a total 50/50.
Just back from the gym and I noticed the tiredness but I really didnt give a fuck. Girl with a guy kept breaking off and glancing my way.
Anyways, if this is resistance, im escaping into business and creating and leveling up. Im having concrete visions about it where I want to go and to be. Acknowledging this causes euphoria. Its an ongoing relentlessness and a really convenient way to not facing to issues. This could probably usefull for Shannon. Texting has really taken an nose dive and keeping it playfull is hard. Just reporting and stuff when she asks about things which pisses me off as I seem incapable to toy with her in a sense, thus it being very dry and "nice guy" like.
What the f#ck. My cockiness and greatness face to face is flowing strong till the point its easy to close but through text, its like trauma and total regression. My mind even wants to start version A already, like, an persuasive pull.
I am aware of there being fear. It surfaced clearly with realizing its fear. This does stirr up things. An fear of giving in. Losing all I build right now. Like, it comes close and is real and then "boom" it goes haywire. While before I didnt even mind to make it sexual. I really dislike my absense of leading. Its soulcrushing.
Edit: forgot to mention, I had a dream involving tons of darker rule 4 things, something thats still playing part in my life, and in which DMSI seems to have an hand in clearing things around it, thus losing some shackles. It came down to being explained things, and conversating in the dream was a bit like inception. Also, manifestations and what we were talking about was shown directly in vision and manifestation.
My sense in dreams seems also shifted, like walking the dream planes. Wonder if there is some dreanworking practice at hand without me being fully aware. Similar to knowing Im dreaming but accepting it aswell.
Still having this turmoil and incredible tiredness. I feel like I can sleep for days yet this turmoil is also my drive to step up financially and creation wise. Im having several ideas to execute now. I dont do deadlines, I tackle head on. My drive is enormous but probably having some guilt surfacing. Whatever is happening, my texting feels totally off. Probably because I dont want to go through with T. Its a total 50/50.
Just back from the gym and I noticed the tiredness but I really didnt give a fuck. Girl with a guy kept breaking off and glancing my way.
Anyways, if this is resistance, im escaping into business and creating and leveling up. Im having concrete visions about it where I want to go and to be. Acknowledging this causes euphoria. Its an ongoing relentlessness and a really convenient way to not facing to issues. This could probably usefull for Shannon. Texting has really taken an nose dive and keeping it playfull is hard. Just reporting and stuff when she asks about things which pisses me off as I seem incapable to toy with her in a sense, thus it being very dry and "nice guy" like.
What the f#ck. My cockiness and greatness face to face is flowing strong till the point its easy to close but through text, its like trauma and total regression. My mind even wants to start version A already, like, an persuasive pull.
I am aware of there being fear. It surfaced clearly with realizing its fear. This does stirr up things. An fear of giving in. Losing all I build right now. Like, it comes close and is real and then "boom" it goes haywire. While before I didnt even mind to make it sexual. I really dislike my absense of leading. Its soulcrushing.
Edit: forgot to mention, I had a dream involving tons of darker rule 4 things, something thats still playing part in my life, and in which DMSI seems to have an hand in clearing things around it, thus losing some shackles. It came down to being explained things, and conversating in the dream was a bit like inception. Also, manifestations and what we were talking about was shown directly in vision and manifestation.
My sense in dreams seems also shifted, like walking the dream planes. Wonder if there is some dreanworking practice at hand without me being fully aware. Similar to knowing Im dreaming but accepting it aswell.
The trials you encounter will introduce you to your strengths. - epictetus
