05-19-2018, 10:43 AM
I'm always looking for the "easier" way. I'm still beating myself up. What I'm going to share doesn't affect anyone else really. It only affects me.
About a year ago, I looked into EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing). Well, I'd done it many years back with different therapists, but I looked into it again. It's a trauma therapy where one looks at an object moving left to right and listens to matching sounds. They think of troublesome or traumatic things, and the EMDR takes away its power. The military uses this for PTSD, and I knew from experience it works. I sought it out years ago since many sexual abuse survivors reported being able to see the abuse in their minds but not be affected by it. EMDR had disentangled their emotions from it.
I found a site online which gives you the setup plus the actual training and preparation for doing it at home. I did ask others online about doing EMDR alone, and many therapists said it's not safe. I knew one could possibly trigger some feeling, belief, or memory and not know how to handle it.
But I was not really afraid. I was in a trading deal at this time expecting some large returns, so I took off work without fear. I did multiple EMDR sessions, and I began feeling real vulnerable, like when I was young. No major shifts occurred, but like subliminals, stuff won't come up until you're ready for it.
A good memory: I remember doing EMDR here on my bed with my laptop. I did maybe 2 or 3 rounds of 10 minutes apiece......and suddenly I felt ok. No, I felt ok with me, in my own skin. This was what I'd searched for and sought after, and it happened. I felt I loved myself. It was heaven to me.
I rarely use EMDR now though. Why? I'm afraid........thinking I won't be able to handle what comes up. While I wrote that, I realized.....that the EMDR is a blessing since it really de-escalates the tension and fear rising, by how it works. It's why I did long sessions when I was doing it then.
And.....I bookmarked the site for the EMDR tools on both my laptop and my desktop. All I have to do is click the link, choose one of the tools, plug in some earplugs (for left to right hemisphere alignment with audio), and run it anytime I want.
I procrastinated heavily just now, avoiding why I'd come on :-). Mark this one up.
A therapist who uses this same software and focuses on sexual abuse healing sent out an email today. She is having a webinar meeting May 23rd called "Shake off the shame". It's aimed at healing oneself from the belief that they're unlovable since the abuse happened. I paid $10 to be on it. I'm kind of nervous......since she's both a therapist and a hot redhead (mmmmm). Seriously, I feel hot when thinking of her. "I am an adult. I am an adult" isn't working. It's all just new to me.
But I'm signed up. The door was presented, so I'm going through it.
About a year ago, I looked into EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing). Well, I'd done it many years back with different therapists, but I looked into it again. It's a trauma therapy where one looks at an object moving left to right and listens to matching sounds. They think of troublesome or traumatic things, and the EMDR takes away its power. The military uses this for PTSD, and I knew from experience it works. I sought it out years ago since many sexual abuse survivors reported being able to see the abuse in their minds but not be affected by it. EMDR had disentangled their emotions from it.
I found a site online which gives you the setup plus the actual training and preparation for doing it at home. I did ask others online about doing EMDR alone, and many therapists said it's not safe. I knew one could possibly trigger some feeling, belief, or memory and not know how to handle it.
But I was not really afraid. I was in a trading deal at this time expecting some large returns, so I took off work without fear. I did multiple EMDR sessions, and I began feeling real vulnerable, like when I was young. No major shifts occurred, but like subliminals, stuff won't come up until you're ready for it.
A good memory: I remember doing EMDR here on my bed with my laptop. I did maybe 2 or 3 rounds of 10 minutes apiece......and suddenly I felt ok. No, I felt ok with me, in my own skin. This was what I'd searched for and sought after, and it happened. I felt I loved myself. It was heaven to me.
I rarely use EMDR now though. Why? I'm afraid........thinking I won't be able to handle what comes up. While I wrote that, I realized.....that the EMDR is a blessing since it really de-escalates the tension and fear rising, by how it works. It's why I did long sessions when I was doing it then.
And.....I bookmarked the site for the EMDR tools on both my laptop and my desktop. All I have to do is click the link, choose one of the tools, plug in some earplugs (for left to right hemisphere alignment with audio), and run it anytime I want.
I procrastinated heavily just now, avoiding why I'd come on :-). Mark this one up.
A therapist who uses this same software and focuses on sexual abuse healing sent out an email today. She is having a webinar meeting May 23rd called "Shake off the shame". It's aimed at healing oneself from the belief that they're unlovable since the abuse happened. I paid $10 to be on it. I'm kind of nervous......since she's both a therapist and a hot redhead (mmmmm). Seriously, I feel hot when thinking of her. "I am an adult. I am an adult" isn't working. It's all just new to me.
But I'm signed up. The door was presented, so I'm going through it.
I want to be FREE!
