DMSI 3.2 it's official

[mat422]

Well been having a think about all this. Not just dmsi but my life in general. I've concluded that this all stems from a fear of change. Yes I have self worth issues, perfectionism, anxiety, and whatever else impeded my happiness in life. But the only thing keeping those around is being too afraid to embrace something new. So I just hide behind this notion that there is more healing to do. It's a false sense of progress. The mind thinks I'm putting in consistently hard work working through my issues, when really I'm just prolonging them and making them more complicated than they are to avoid actual change.

I came to this conclusion when I realized I do the same stuff with my music. There's always one more thing I feel I need to tweak or get right then I'll finish the song. But guess what? I never finish the song because there was nothing wrong with what I was tweaking in the first place. It was just a convenient excuse.

This fear of change is completely irrational. Even something positive I'm fearful of. I've noticed the closer I get to getting attraction from women, the more my mind rejects it. Like I think to myself oh shit I hope she's not attracted to me. It's frustrating.