Day 3 DMSI B.
Ran B version this morning. Im going through lots of swings including cloud mindedness. Its like internal havoc is being wrecked. Insane horniness yet in lockdown.
Im growing in deeper understanding of abundance of women which is real clear to me when snapping out of this almost trance like state. Im getting very aware of the impact of DMSI, it will win out anyways. Im still liking B version pretty much.
Am again looking in updating my wardrobe. A theme on DMSI is that at times, music isnt doing anything at all for me, like at all. Nothing is satisfying.
Im very tired and cloud minded currently, like being constant on a pass out brink.
Im insanely horny. Im highly aware of selftalk aswell. My bodylanguage is straight up superstar/celebrity. Im walking with an sense of high attraction how im dressed now looks great.
Also, im getting impatient of not having sex right now. An anger perhaps with myself. The sense of powerlessness is a red thread it seems, trauma. Lots of other things are still in the depths of my subconscious being digged up. Like a huge lake/ocean is cracked open and touching upon it and going through this is met with an "floodgate" kind of response.
When talking with my psych yesterday ( whom I hired ) we came to the conclusion when going step for step back. We talked about dissociation, trauma, amnesia and this time I was aware how crisp and logical it all was in my communication and leading through this.
Abandonment, powerlessness, childhood that came up, flashbacks involving senses, other things that came up and I remember telling him how it went deep quick. We came to the conclusion of several things which are undoubtly faced and going to be faced. Im growing more ferocious on honesty to myself, being blunt open, and facing head on. Im even somewhat excited about it without nuancing. I want to go raw in it. There is a shitton to be written about this. Its like a snowball effect that piles up more and more stuff.
We talked about bodylanguage and because of DMSI impact we talked about the SMV, presentation, confidence, insecurities and the things I want to deal with. .
Also short term goals, long terms goals and how I see it blew my mind and how sure ( through reality bending ) it was in terms of succes, self providing, growth and overal my life.
Im growing stronger in massive action. It all is in conjunction, but now, im sort of feeling my subc wanting to flee and escape. Not a chance.
Underneath the stuff there is a diamond that women crave. Im thrilled and damn serious ( maybe not so, the cheeky ass mofo I am lmao ) that, I will he having to many women to deal with soon. Its like my whole body fires up as soon as I see a hot women. We lock eyes if that happens and they are damn hot. Its like a "ment to be" kind of vibe with immense raw animalistic magnetism. Even if she is some distant away, it is felt, right across the room. The horniness of today causes me to want to look up porn but its soon met with a sense of "it would be a waste" my legs go weak even at times like pre-orgasm.
Its like being a kimg amongst a school class at times. Like, being the master/teacher/succes guy, having those women wsnting you, almost like keeping this order a.k.a taming those girls. Been there before, in my 20s, naivity caused me to hook up effortlessly. Like my game came natural. Anyways, that was the past, now is now.
Nowadays im getting at this point of bumping into them, hooking up, banging, having several firms of relationships. Also, when I see some guys going nice guy, im a bit dying inside. Im free from outcome ( almost so aloof IDGAF ) but is just so obvious that my being screams "ooohhh f#ck no dude.."
Inwards something is about to crack. To snap. Like, my body/mind/subc is highly trying through several strategies to shutdiwn. When thats healed...damn. selfawareness probably.
Ran B version this morning. Im going through lots of swings including cloud mindedness. Its like internal havoc is being wrecked. Insane horniness yet in lockdown.
Im growing in deeper understanding of abundance of women which is real clear to me when snapping out of this almost trance like state. Im getting very aware of the impact of DMSI, it will win out anyways. Im still liking B version pretty much.
Am again looking in updating my wardrobe. A theme on DMSI is that at times, music isnt doing anything at all for me, like at all. Nothing is satisfying.
Im very tired and cloud minded currently, like being constant on a pass out brink.
Im insanely horny. Im highly aware of selftalk aswell. My bodylanguage is straight up superstar/celebrity. Im walking with an sense of high attraction how im dressed now looks great.
Also, im getting impatient of not having sex right now. An anger perhaps with myself. The sense of powerlessness is a red thread it seems, trauma. Lots of other things are still in the depths of my subconscious being digged up. Like a huge lake/ocean is cracked open and touching upon it and going through this is met with an "floodgate" kind of response.
When talking with my psych yesterday ( whom I hired ) we came to the conclusion when going step for step back. We talked about dissociation, trauma, amnesia and this time I was aware how crisp and logical it all was in my communication and leading through this.
Abandonment, powerlessness, childhood that came up, flashbacks involving senses, other things that came up and I remember telling him how it went deep quick. We came to the conclusion of several things which are undoubtly faced and going to be faced. Im growing more ferocious on honesty to myself, being blunt open, and facing head on. Im even somewhat excited about it without nuancing. I want to go raw in it. There is a shitton to be written about this. Its like a snowball effect that piles up more and more stuff.
We talked about bodylanguage and because of DMSI impact we talked about the SMV, presentation, confidence, insecurities and the things I want to deal with. .
Also short term goals, long terms goals and how I see it blew my mind and how sure ( through reality bending ) it was in terms of succes, self providing, growth and overal my life.
Im growing stronger in massive action. It all is in conjunction, but now, im sort of feeling my subc wanting to flee and escape. Not a chance.
Underneath the stuff there is a diamond that women crave. Im thrilled and damn serious ( maybe not so, the cheeky ass mofo I am lmao ) that, I will he having to many women to deal with soon. Its like my whole body fires up as soon as I see a hot women. We lock eyes if that happens and they are damn hot. Its like a "ment to be" kind of vibe with immense raw animalistic magnetism. Even if she is some distant away, it is felt, right across the room. The horniness of today causes me to want to look up porn but its soon met with a sense of "it would be a waste" my legs go weak even at times like pre-orgasm.
Its like being a kimg amongst a school class at times. Like, being the master/teacher/succes guy, having those women wsnting you, almost like keeping this order a.k.a taming those girls. Been there before, in my 20s, naivity caused me to hook up effortlessly. Like my game came natural. Anyways, that was the past, now is now.
Nowadays im getting at this point of bumping into them, hooking up, banging, having several firms of relationships. Also, when I see some guys going nice guy, im a bit dying inside. Im free from outcome ( almost so aloof IDGAF ) but is just so obvious that my being screams "ooohhh f#ck no dude.."
Inwards something is about to crack. To snap. Like, my body/mind/subc is highly trying through several strategies to shutdiwn. When thats healed...damn. selfawareness probably.
The trials you encounter will introduce you to your strengths. - epictetus
