It actually feels good to hear an honest rant Matt (your word vomit). While reading the rant, you were searching for reasons to be angry. I'm with you all the way, as I've been bitching at others in my head (basically "I'm not being treated LIKE I WANT" at my job).
I also realized this today writing about UD. While on UD, I raged initially (very unusual for me), but soon realized.........I was either afraid of change, or I felt alone in it. The rage took a LOT of energy. Soon after, the grief came. I had judged myself so harshly for failing myself and others, and I was so powerless over others. But my grief over hurting myself hit strong. I'd never done this long-term, even though I'm more feelings led (INFP). The grieving saved me, truthfully. I could let go of all the effort needed to punish myself and be compassionate, even with my ingrained social norms.
I'll be starting DMSI this Friday, and your sharing confirmed that yes, DMSI does have elements of UD in it. I'm realizing that I still have things to let go of, so thank you for sharing this with us.
I also realized this today writing about UD. While on UD, I raged initially (very unusual for me), but soon realized.........I was either afraid of change, or I felt alone in it. The rage took a LOT of energy. Soon after, the grief came. I had judged myself so harshly for failing myself and others, and I was so powerless over others. But my grief over hurting myself hit strong. I'd never done this long-term, even though I'm more feelings led (INFP). The grieving saved me, truthfully. I could let go of all the effort needed to punish myself and be compassionate, even with my ingrained social norms.
I'll be starting DMSI this Friday, and your sharing confirmed that yes, DMSI does have elements of UD in it. I'm realizing that I still have things to let go of, so thank you for sharing this with us.
I want to be FREE!
