DMSI 3.2 it's official

[mat422]

Realized after that last post that I needed to acknowledge those things. But after processing it more I realize what's really at the heart of all this anger and discontent is just more healing that needs to take place. And getting angry at outside circumstances or lamenting my life will only serve to slow down this healing process, like a detour. Instead I recognize these feelings will pass. Right now it's really hard to see past this thick fog of fear and hopelessness, but I know it's not permanent and it isn't the truth. The reasons and stories behind the pain don't matter, none of it does. All that matters is I move on from it. In order to live the life I want to live I have to get through all this and fine tune my mind for success

Right now this battle. The constant barrage of negative thoughts and of feeling like I'm trying so hard was really just me refusing to take this all the way and settling with the idea of managing all this. But it's clear to me now I want to heal whatever holds me back completely, I want to leave it behind and never think of it again, to stop trying and start being what I want. And in order to do so I have to let go and trust in the process and wherever it takes me. I feel like I'm traveling into the eye of the storm right now and I think for a few days I have to let go of this need to keep moving forward and really pause and center myself and be.