Right now I am having doubts if I will ever be able to real my goal of becoming "Financially Independent". I mean I have a plan and I know Its gonna atleast 3 years for me to just reach that goal.. Maximum 5 years. But still I feel hopeless. Infact I am feeling hopeless towards my career also.
This HC is pretty hard if u ask me.
Also, I am not doing anything unproductive these days as I just don't feel like wasting my energy doing unproductive stuff but at the same time I can't bring myself to be productive. "B" used to push me to be productive and keep me motivated but on "A" motivation is low. I wanna do stuff but don't wanna.. Yet at same time I don't wanna waste my time on useless stuff.. I am so stuck in between..
Also, havnt fapped in 2 days and I can sense the horniness in my balls but my subconscious desire to "not fap" id really strong right now... Even if I consciously try to convince myself to fap.. Then I can feel a big repulsive desire from subconscious to not... It's like those feelings where u don't want to eat that certain dish cause u don't feel like.. Even if r hungry.. Cause u think its better to be hungry than eat that..
Also I have noticed that people are hanging around in my room more.. This happened only few times. Once my Niece came in and started roaming around me then today when I woke up all of sudden my aunt and cousin sister came into my room and tbh I didn't even give a damn. Before I would have tried to impress them but now i dont also my cousin is kinda attractive but this time i was like "who cares" ..... I did feel a little self conscious but all was good..
This HC is pretty hard if u ask me.
Also, I am not doing anything unproductive these days as I just don't feel like wasting my energy doing unproductive stuff but at the same time I can't bring myself to be productive. "B" used to push me to be productive and keep me motivated but on "A" motivation is low. I wanna do stuff but don't wanna.. Yet at same time I don't wanna waste my time on useless stuff.. I am so stuck in between..
Also, havnt fapped in 2 days and I can sense the horniness in my balls but my subconscious desire to "not fap" id really strong right now... Even if I consciously try to convince myself to fap.. Then I can feel a big repulsive desire from subconscious to not... It's like those feelings where u don't want to eat that certain dish cause u don't feel like.. Even if r hungry.. Cause u think its better to be hungry than eat that..
Also I have noticed that people are hanging around in my room more.. This happened only few times. Once my Niece came in and started roaming around me then today when I woke up all of sudden my aunt and cousin sister came into my room and tbh I didn't even give a damn. Before I would have tried to impress them but now i dont also my cousin is kinda attractive but this time i was like "who cares" ..... I did feel a little self conscious but all was good..
