Healing Subs & sex dreams

[findingme]

I'm starting to wonder if I'm one of the few that doesn't understand the attraction of DSMI.

I wasn't when I arrived here early 2017. I've spent decades around either the "scared of our sexual desires" or "we NEVER talk about them" kind of people. I have numerous sexual fears and resulting hangups.

And I'm not starting DMSI to focus on sex, (I think, being honest). I banished DMSI from my mind since, well, noone I've been around talked about sex without making it sound really cheap, really sleazy, or (in my mind), really shameful. I haven't wanted to be handcuffed to shame, so I avoided DMSI repeatedly.

I plan on starting DMSI next Friday, and I still have some resistance rise up. Nothing like it used to, and I'll credit E2 and UD with removing or reducing some major blockages steadily.

I'd love to find a good girl and know her for more than one night. And me writing that makes me aware I still have a black or white perspective. Like it's all "right" or all "WRONG!!". Very little knowledge of healthy sexuality in my lifetime. One fling here, one sexless marriage, some talk from horny guys at work, some porn............but very little healthy experience sexually.

So, no, you're not the only one. I thank you for admitting this, for I feared a public shaming "if I ever!"

I'm looking at DMSI to clear up emotional garbage, but sexual beliefs tie very closely to emotional beliefs about myself and others. DMSI is where the newest technologies are tried and tested, and many have made great strides. Since I live in a sexual atmosphere (my city), I'd like some relief from the societal strangleholds modeled before me. (Again, all....or NOTHING) The sexual dysfunction I've lived around greatly affects me.

So, I'm moving forward not knowing what'll I'll experience, or what I'll become. I'm not hearing horror stories. And this is why I'm here. I am not alone, so I'm trusting those who have gone before me.

Life will go on whether I change.....or not. Not changing has kept me very unhappy. So, I am wishing to make changes with what's right in front of me.

So James, you're not alone.