SantaRich Wrote:There is also nothing wrong with being an introvert, I am very much an introvert and while I have not had experiences most people crave and think they want I have had experiences that they cannot possibly imagine. Don't fight yourself over your nature is what I am trying to say. I would rather say little that means something than much that does not, and I am guessing you are the same.
A wiser man than me said "be in the world but not of it" and another quote which I like goes something like " if I had an hour to live, I would spend 50 minutes trying to find the right question to ask myself to live and 10 minutes answering it" - Einstein, I think.
Yeah I think embracing my nature is something that will give me a lot more peace of mind. Although I haven't had amazing experiences, I can definitely understand where you are coming from.
Spiral Wrote:Interesting post mat. You actually made me realize something and you are not alone. I think I got my degree out of fear as well. I didn't actually want to do it.. I just thought it was cool. I ended up doing it anyways and got a degree in it. I wasted my parents money and I don't want to go back to school to get another degree. I have moments where I feel like "will I ever make it in the 'real world'?"
Good to know I'm not alone. These thoughts I have a lot of the time are mostly just distortions and they do come to pass eventually. It's just for that moment in time when they are there it feels like the end of the world.
Ryan Wrote:Sometimes, and especially lately, I feel like a broken toy that cannot be fixed. Like there is so much physically and mentally wrong with me. The anxiety can be crippling to me. The depression isn't as bad but just makes me dread the future. I want these issues to go away, I don't want to live with the suffering of these things anymore so now I am putting these theories to the test to overcome my issues of not trusting in myself (and my health), worry about the future and esp. the unknown, and feeling like I do not deserve nor have good things in my life all of which I believe can be tackled by living in the moment...and being content with what you have through gratitude, appreciation and self acceptance.
I can really relate to that feeling. Feeling like I'm broken is definitely the result of anxiety. I've got more social anxiety, but sometimes I feel like I'm living in a constant state of it. I suffer from depression at times too, but my theory is it's all tied to the anxiety. Sometimes I feel like being a guy and having anxiety is a blow to my perception of myself as a man. Men are supposed to challenge fear head on, and that's something I always struggled with. I've gotten a lot better, but I envy those guys that were just born into this world with incredible self-confidence.
I'll check that book out. It looks like it's got some interesting stuff in it. It seems like in my worst moments that practicing gratitude makes me feel like a bad person because the stuff doesn't matter. I think maybe I should practice more self-love. I mean right now I'm criticizing myself for not having enough gratitude haha. Social anxiety is one hell of a problem because it has this tendency to make me think of myself as less of a person. I think that's really the one two punch, maybe if I learned more self love and didn't bash myself for having this problem I wouldn't feel as broken.
K-Train Wrote:Good to hear from you again Matt!
I see you're still going through the familiar struggles of AM and life right now. I've been doing ASC.for the past 40 or so days, and it's helping me so much in dealing with fears and doubts. I agree with Spiral and Ryan on the Gratitude sub but also consider adding in ASC.and running the two of them for 3 months (90 days). I'm quite sure you'll be better after doing this. Good luck to you man...and may the power protect you.
Thanks man. I actually remember I ran through absolute self confidence 3G version once in the past. It really gave me that kick, that even despite the fear I just knew I could push past it. I remember one day I was just hanging out on my college campus waiting for my next class and this cute girl asked me for the time, which is funny because I knew it was just an opener to talk to me haha. But anyway I started a conversation with her, heart pounding, but had some fun. After that I was just in shock because I couldn't believe I did that. It seems simple but for me it was a huge jump. Anyway I'll definitely look into those two subs.
In other news I had some fun today sparring my friend at his house. I've always loved boxing, but had a hard time sparring because of my anxiety. Well today I pretty much pushed past that fear and just did it. It felt really good and I'm proud I didn't wuss out. I kind of want to join a boxing gym, but I'm still not sure. I might just spar with my friends and my brother instead. I don't think I really want to do it competitively, but then again I don't really know.
The thing I really like about boxing is you have that fight or flight response. Normally when I get that around people because of social anxiety I feel like I either need to leave or just get overly aggressive. At least with boxing I can challenge that response. I don't know it's so weird, I can get punched in the face and beat up, essentially fight someone. Most people would avoid that out of fear, but just have an easy time doing things that I find difficult. I think it's because in boxing I have control, I can avoid the punches and punch back. In real life people are unpredictable and I don't have control over how they view me, I guess that scares me and I just fear their judgment or criticism of me. Goes back to that old phrase sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me. Words hurt a lot more than being punched in the face for me haha.
