Weird day. Lots of conflicting states over most trival things. Lost mitivation amidst set at the gym, yet G is getting real submissive. Same as foodordergirl. I noticed her biting her lower lip and slipping in seductive state. It was plain obvious and shes dtf. Im in this in between state that leaves me feeling overwhelmed and lost. Not with hers. IDGAF frankly about her. Would def rail because her energy was totally right, sweet, soft with a kinky side to it and we're feelin it. Just, my attention is all over the place.
Im feeling totally reckless, mixed up, out of control with my spending. I want to just shut the littlest things down and give up. To hell with all. Its euphoria mixed with irritation, annoyance and agression.
Also, bouncing between eating and not eating. Wanting to eat only to not wanting it the flipping next second. Guess my subc is trying to escape whatever has been hit, only to be called back, like a elastic band.
Last days, such as with Polish girl "B" ive been thinking about DMSI and relationships. What is my paradigma and am realizing my mission is central. It also causes me to ruminate over depth and commutment and im feeling way out there. Like, Im having barely interest. Sure, there is depth in making her eyes spin, making her mind climax, letting her soul orgasm while she drools over and is fully mine and submissive, but at times, and this makes me feel defeated in a sense of relief like leaving life behind, I feel like Im not letting people that close at all. Like im fine with it all, until it goes into deeper territiry. Such as with texting, yeah great you like that genre of movies, but im not caring about being a text buddy. This has hit a nerve now, like a tension in my stomach.
Frankly, dtf women come to mind now, like, it enhances the sex so much more.
Each of my decisions is met with a counter response like being agitated hypomanic. Like I said, feelin out of control, lost, agitated, angry and confused. Sadness is pretty much present since this morning when it came out of the blue amidst session at the gym.
Way to go DMSI A.
Im feeling totally reckless, mixed up, out of control with my spending. I want to just shut the littlest things down and give up. To hell with all. Its euphoria mixed with irritation, annoyance and agression.
Also, bouncing between eating and not eating. Wanting to eat only to not wanting it the flipping next second. Guess my subc is trying to escape whatever has been hit, only to be called back, like a elastic band.
Last days, such as with Polish girl "B" ive been thinking about DMSI and relationships. What is my paradigma and am realizing my mission is central. It also causes me to ruminate over depth and commutment and im feeling way out there. Like, Im having barely interest. Sure, there is depth in making her eyes spin, making her mind climax, letting her soul orgasm while she drools over and is fully mine and submissive, but at times, and this makes me feel defeated in a sense of relief like leaving life behind, I feel like Im not letting people that close at all. Like im fine with it all, until it goes into deeper territiry. Such as with texting, yeah great you like that genre of movies, but im not caring about being a text buddy. This has hit a nerve now, like a tension in my stomach.
Frankly, dtf women come to mind now, like, it enhances the sex so much more.
Each of my decisions is met with a counter response like being agitated hypomanic. Like I said, feelin out of control, lost, agitated, angry and confused. Sadness is pretty much present since this morning when it came out of the blue amidst session at the gym.
Way to go DMSI A.
The trials you encounter will introduce you to your strengths. - epictetus
