AM 5.0 Journal

[JCasterlin]

Day 28 AM5 Stage 1 - Slept probably the best I have in a long time last night. Still fighting this cold. I've gone through some of the old AM5 & AM6 journals & a lot of what I'm experiencing is common. I read in one thread that Shannon suggests doing four runs of AM. I am ok with that. I was thinking about it last night how it used to bug me to no end to be the older guy ( I will be 50 July 1st) but then I start contemplating about all the immature things I've said & done. All the bad choices I've made & I realize I had to go through all of that to get to where I am now. Would I change anything ? I seriously doubt it. More than anything I want to finally learn from the mistakes I've made & not repeat them over & over anymore.
I used to think being alpha , whatever that is, was my goal. After reading older threads & posts going back to 2010 I now know that if that happens great. If not that's fine too. I just want to be free of the inner drama & trauma that has kept me from being who I know I am . I honestly thought I might miss Facebook but I don't. Like in a thread someone posted in the Mens Product Section. I want to live my life. With my wife & my cat. I don't want or need acquaintances. Which in reality is all social media friends are. I don't have the time. I told my wife last week how for maybe the first time in my life I feel like a grown ass man. I'm enjoying the AM ride