I have suspected (for a long time) that my mother have a narcissistic perosnality disorder and now I am sure, after watching this video about how to deal with narcissists:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jqhA75fga8c&app=desktop
He explain that a narcissist feeds on your emotional response, and this is exactly the case. When you don't give my mom an emotional response she get all crazy. But as in the video the guy recommend you to "tone down" your interaction and become "boring" and after a while the narcissist will understand that they can't get what they need from you. Their sense of self is based on your emotional response, and it's NOT your responsibility to satisfy this need as it's highly unhealthy for you. As I have been burned out this have done the situation even worse and started to rip out my sense of confidence and my own sense of self.
But I can manage to be a "grey rock" right now, so the situation is becoming better. I'm getting my sense of self back and don't care so much about her toxic emotions anymore. If she is angry? I'm still cool. I have my own harbour inside of myself where her ship will never get access. F*ck her, and her need to get my reaction, f*ck her upset emotions, f*ck her drama - really just F*CK HER!!!!!!!! (that felt good) I'm going to feel good without feeling any guilt!!!
EDIT:
I also realize that she put herself into the victim-role so you be "nice" to her and then she uses this niceness against you and just feed on it. So I have stopped with that. Previously I did it either because of guilt, or because of fear of what would happen if I wasn't "nice". I'm not, not nice now, just not overly nice and "taking care of her emotion-nice" now, as I have realized that her emotional state is not my responsibility. Or I have started to do this, but it's a start.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jqhA75fga8c&app=desktop
He explain that a narcissist feeds on your emotional response, and this is exactly the case. When you don't give my mom an emotional response she get all crazy. But as in the video the guy recommend you to "tone down" your interaction and become "boring" and after a while the narcissist will understand that they can't get what they need from you. Their sense of self is based on your emotional response, and it's NOT your responsibility to satisfy this need as it's highly unhealthy for you. As I have been burned out this have done the situation even worse and started to rip out my sense of confidence and my own sense of self.
But I can manage to be a "grey rock" right now, so the situation is becoming better. I'm getting my sense of self back and don't care so much about her toxic emotions anymore. If she is angry? I'm still cool. I have my own harbour inside of myself where her ship will never get access. F*ck her, and her need to get my reaction, f*ck her upset emotions, f*ck her drama - really just F*CK HER!!!!!!!! (that felt good) I'm going to feel good without feeling any guilt!!!
EDIT:
I also realize that she put herself into the victim-role so you be "nice" to her and then she uses this niceness against you and just feed on it. So I have stopped with that. Previously I did it either because of guilt, or because of fear of what would happen if I wasn't "nice". I'm not, not nice now, just not overly nice and "taking care of her emotion-nice" now, as I have realized that her emotional state is not my responsibility. Or I have started to do this, but it's a start.
