The worst part of the day is waking up.
This is when my dreams are still fresh in my active memory. These days they reflect strange stuff going on inside me. I am unable to make heads or tails of it. It's nothing particularly frightening, just weird long-winded events that morph from one scene and place into into another. Lot's of different people from my past are there and we talk or otherwise interact socially/intimately. Recently I experienced a clear sensation of smell in the dreams. Then in another night the 'normal reality language' was English (remember: I am neither a native english speaker, nor do I live in an English-speaking country). Anyway, upon waking up I have a feeling of loss. A small hole or uneasiness in my gut.
This bleeds over into my emotional state and the way I experience my day. Every interaction, interpretation, and activity.
The weird dreams are only one half of the coin though. The other is that I am frequently waking up these nights with racing thoughts shooting through my mind and a need to move around my body without finding a relaxing position to rest. My legs are tingling. It's as if my mind and body are brimming with activity.
And so I lie in bed for hours half asleep and like a live wire. This inability to find rest and reload at night also bleeds over into my day, shaping how I react and am able to focus. It also dampens my creativity and my ability to enjoy simple things.
I feel as if I am being overloaded and don't want to know anything more than I already know about what is going on around me.
And now for the best part. All this together seems to create some kind of antipathy towards going to sleep. Now that is an unexpected twist. I don't want to be awake but I also don't want to go to sleep. It's like the gnomes have learned a new way so say 'hoooooray!'
I wonder what will happen next
This is when my dreams are still fresh in my active memory. These days they reflect strange stuff going on inside me. I am unable to make heads or tails of it. It's nothing particularly frightening, just weird long-winded events that morph from one scene and place into into another. Lot's of different people from my past are there and we talk or otherwise interact socially/intimately. Recently I experienced a clear sensation of smell in the dreams. Then in another night the 'normal reality language' was English (remember: I am neither a native english speaker, nor do I live in an English-speaking country). Anyway, upon waking up I have a feeling of loss. A small hole or uneasiness in my gut.
This bleeds over into my emotional state and the way I experience my day. Every interaction, interpretation, and activity.
The weird dreams are only one half of the coin though. The other is that I am frequently waking up these nights with racing thoughts shooting through my mind and a need to move around my body without finding a relaxing position to rest. My legs are tingling. It's as if my mind and body are brimming with activity.
And so I lie in bed for hours half asleep and like a live wire. This inability to find rest and reload at night also bleeds over into my day, shaping how I react and am able to focus. It also dampens my creativity and my ability to enjoy simple things.
I feel as if I am being overloaded and don't want to know anything more than I already know about what is going on around me.
And now for the best part. All this together seems to create some kind of antipathy towards going to sleep. Now that is an unexpected twist. I don't want to be awake but I also don't want to go to sleep. It's like the gnomes have learned a new way so say 'hoooooray!'
I wonder what will happen next
_ - Third Stone From The Sun - _
