04-21-2018, 07:33 AM
Went out to the bar last night with my friends. It was chill. Sat down and a couple minutes a girl I knew from high school who I had a thing for showed up. Wanted her to look at me and give me attention. But then I said fuck it, if she does she does and if not I'm just here having a good time with friends. Well not so much as a glance from her, but maybe it was just part of the clearing. See this girl liked me in high school but I fucked it all up by being too anxious. Now this wasn't simple nerves. I was a hardcore recluse back then and I tried to explain to her that I liked her too but I was just messed up in the head and was really anxious around her. She didn't get it and moved on. And like a chump I pined after her for months after that. That was pretty much my first experience with a girl liking me and then pretty much being repulsed by me all in the span of a few weeks.
Other than that nothing happened. But I was able to walk around the bar with the vibe of owning my space and not giving a shit what others thought. Few glances here and there. Just trying to get more comfortable with being dominant and not self conscious about being noticed.
I get the indifference mentality. I feel like I'm taking on the mentality of a guy who's already slept with a ton of women. So I'm not compromising my own frame for the sake of getting laid. That being said I'll be the first to admit that this is only good if I end up fulfilling the goal of dmsi. Otherwise I'm using it as a convenient excuse. I wouldn't say my standards are high, but I do have a particular type I'm into. I thought about it and asked myself why would I waste my time sleeping with a woman that does nothing for me? Just to prove I could? I'm more into the punk/artsy/fringe type of women. But my current location is pretty much populated by the exact opposite of that. Again I don't know if it's resistance, but no matter how hot a girl is if she's incredibly one dimensional and entitled that's an instant turnoff.
Other than that nothing happened. But I was able to walk around the bar with the vibe of owning my space and not giving a shit what others thought. Few glances here and there. Just trying to get more comfortable with being dominant and not self conscious about being noticed.
I get the indifference mentality. I feel like I'm taking on the mentality of a guy who's already slept with a ton of women. So I'm not compromising my own frame for the sake of getting laid. That being said I'll be the first to admit that this is only good if I end up fulfilling the goal of dmsi. Otherwise I'm using it as a convenient excuse. I wouldn't say my standards are high, but I do have a particular type I'm into. I thought about it and asked myself why would I waste my time sleeping with a woman that does nothing for me? Just to prove I could? I'm more into the punk/artsy/fringe type of women. But my current location is pretty much populated by the exact opposite of that. Again I don't know if it's resistance, but no matter how hot a girl is if she's incredibly one dimensional and entitled that's an instant turnoff.
INFP
