Ascending to Alpha

[JCasterlin]

Stage 5, Day 31:

- Went out with my best friend last night for his bday. He was depressed because his grandma is in the hospital so even though I wasn’t fully in the mood I thought what the hell its his bday anyway. We went to hooters and talked about current events. Around the time we were about to leave, he actually expressed to me how he’s been feeling more alpha lately and speaking his mind to everyone. I found that funny because me and this dude go through similar situations and transformations in our lives at around the same time in life. It’s been this way since we became adults and we’ve known each other for almost 16 years now. This is the same guy who used to complain about missing his ex a lot but is now in a much better headspace, at least in regards to that situation even though he still expresses that he misses her.

- The wife called me at work for a stupid reason. I stopped myself from flipping out because I didn’t want to let her foolishness give me a reason to lose self control. For reasons I won’t mention due to rule 4, I’ve been making efforts to simply use anger or any other negative emotions more constructively. The past couple days though she’s been proving me right on why things aren’t gonna Work long term between us. Divorce should be finalized any day now anyway.


- While at hooters last night there were 2 waitresses specifically who kept staring at me. One was waiting on my table and even though she never said anything directly, she had a certain look on her face like she wanted to Evry time she looked at me. She was the first Asian woman in a while that I found so attractive. My best friend agreed. Thought about getting her number but decided not to. I know I’d end up wasting her time and my own. Not because I lack confidence but because I knew I wouldn’t have stayed interested enough to actually take it too far.

- speaking of interest, I haven’t seen the woman I mentioned the another day that giggles when she sees me at work... oh well.

Rule 4?