04-18-2018, 03:48 AM
So weird. It feels like things are split up inside me. I'm acknowledging a part of me still has anxiety, but another part is completely confident. Trying to be as honest as possible so I can really heal everything. Prior to this I just kept denying how I really felt or I'd get stuck in it.
It's bizarre when you can feel unconfident and confident at the exact same time. Puts you in this sort of frantic headspace that's just chaotic. One side pushing towards goals and another pulling in the opposite direction. It's tempting to think you need to "beat" it, but that implies it's outside of you or like this mysterious entity that has a mind of its own.
Also restructuring my own concept of the "truth". I came to the conclusion if I haven't explored or lived all aspects of reality how could I know the truth? How could I know what's possible vs not possible merely by speculating? Most evidence I've collected is biased, but that's the nature of the human mind and the belief system.
Reading John Alexander how to be an alpha male again. I'm working on completely reframing the dynamic with women. Not chasing, not needing, being the prize and women who like doing the chasing. I've realized my mind built up how "realistic" that was based on past experience vs just allowing it. There's a lot of stuff that needs to be reworked in my mind, but I feel like I'm getting there.
It's bizarre when you can feel unconfident and confident at the exact same time. Puts you in this sort of frantic headspace that's just chaotic. One side pushing towards goals and another pulling in the opposite direction. It's tempting to think you need to "beat" it, but that implies it's outside of you or like this mysterious entity that has a mind of its own.
Also restructuring my own concept of the "truth". I came to the conclusion if I haven't explored or lived all aspects of reality how could I know the truth? How could I know what's possible vs not possible merely by speculating? Most evidence I've collected is biased, but that's the nature of the human mind and the belief system.
Reading John Alexander how to be an alpha male again. I'm working on completely reframing the dynamic with women. Not chasing, not needing, being the prize and women who like doing the chasing. I've realized my mind built up how "realistic" that was based on past experience vs just allowing it. There's a lot of stuff that needs to be reworked in my mind, but I feel like I'm getting there.
INFP
