04-16-2018, 04:59 AM
(This post was last modified: 04-16-2018, 05:03 AM by JCasterlin.)
Day 18 Stage 1 - although I don't procrastinate very much anymore , unless it's say grocery shopping, my motivation has been almost zero yesterday & today. I have read in other journals how that's a common thing during at least Stage 1. I've been doing a of thinking about how the all the ways I've beaten myself up in the past be it mentally or emotionally obviously wasnt achieving anything. I've probably said it somewhere before but prior to starting AN6 I was someone who always felt I needed external validation for almost anything. Now I've begun to realize how not just emotionally unhealthy but that it's also a sign of weakness. I've gone so long without feeling I could trust myself , even if my intuition proved correct, that it's taken something as powerful as AM6 to understand how silly that was. I remember back when I was in my late twenties or early thirties that I felt like I had something in me that was holding me back from being able to become the person I've always wanted to be. Now I understand how all this time it's been me & me alone somehow sabotaging myself. That ends now
