04-05-2018, 06:04 PM
Oops listened more than 7 days. About 2 over, so I'm taking a break tonight.
Had time away from posting for my brain to settle. I've realized I've been fighting too hard to change my subconscious. All that energy is better utilized just making conscious decisions that move me forward. I'll let the subconscious stuff work in the background. Reading a book on stoicism now that has been helping. Sometimes stuff just happens in life and you've gotta move forward and stay out of your head. I've noticed most of my progress with dmsi comes with the absence of trying. More like oh cool I'm doing all this stuff without thinking about it. I mean that's how it's supposed to be when you change your beliefs. You don't think about it because it becomes your new normal.
I'm still having issues in life. Despite having a full time job now I'm not making much money and it kinda hurts seeing most of it go towards gas and car payment. But feeling bad about that won't change it and I'm better off figuring out where I should go from here. Still paying off student loans too. I'm kind of just surviving at this point, comfortable survival though, but still it's tough. Not the worst situation to be in by far, but still I feel lucky these things kind of lined up for me a bit like a safety net. That's what scares me about life sometimes, it's unpredictable. Some people just have this smooth sailing with no real hardship and others can't get away from it no matter how hard they try. Sometimes I feel like something is waiting around the corner ready to sucker punch me. I never really feel safe or settled.
Had time away from posting for my brain to settle. I've realized I've been fighting too hard to change my subconscious. All that energy is better utilized just making conscious decisions that move me forward. I'll let the subconscious stuff work in the background. Reading a book on stoicism now that has been helping. Sometimes stuff just happens in life and you've gotta move forward and stay out of your head. I've noticed most of my progress with dmsi comes with the absence of trying. More like oh cool I'm doing all this stuff without thinking about it. I mean that's how it's supposed to be when you change your beliefs. You don't think about it because it becomes your new normal.
I'm still having issues in life. Despite having a full time job now I'm not making much money and it kinda hurts seeing most of it go towards gas and car payment. But feeling bad about that won't change it and I'm better off figuring out where I should go from here. Still paying off student loans too. I'm kind of just surviving at this point, comfortable survival though, but still it's tough. Not the worst situation to be in by far, but still I feel lucky these things kind of lined up for me a bit like a safety net. That's what scares me about life sometimes, it's unpredictable. Some people just have this smooth sailing with no real hardship and others can't get away from it no matter how hard they try. Sometimes I feel like something is waiting around the corner ready to sucker punch me. I never really feel safe or settled.
INFP
