Jakes DMSI 3.2B - *Closed!*

[Jake2015]

Day 29 - (2.14) - Saturday 25th March 2018
Time: 12.59am
Listening to loop right now.
Note to self: Tomorrow is 1 day break, then will listen to Trickling stream for 30days and see if any change or not.

Today woke to a bad dream. It wasnt a nightmare, but its a bad dream as I didnt like the outcome at all. I dont want to go into detail except that if this was DMSI it wasnt nice.

I drank 1.5litres of water today. I wake and drink 500ml bottle upon waking, then drank 2 more.
I dont care about drinking sips throughtout the day, the goal is to just get this amount of water inside me 1 way or another.

Tomorrows goal is 2litres of water - 4 x 500ml bottles.
Aim: end of march, 31st, to drink 4litres.

Sleep
Terrible. Sleeping at 6am. waking at 12pm.
My fault, but need to fix this soon. Not easy when I cant shower due to bandaged up leg, but I go again to the hospital on Monday to get it changed/cleaned and then will ask if I can shower or not as I will miss Uni if I cant properly shower.

I spend alot of time on the following:
Pornsite to see if pornchat girl has replied or to fav porn videos that I dont watch.

Facebook but not as much as pornsite. (I dont name pornsite incase its advertising)

Swinging dating site, where I send a copy&paste message to every female in the hope 1 takes the bait and replies. There is little point to this, because im in europe not the UK, and I cannot possibly meet anyone until I graduate and lose weight and get myself back into shape.

I sometimes go to another famous dating site, and today messaged a girl and she replied. They have a voice call feature so she called me. We chatted for over 3hrs. I did 70-80% of the talking but at the start thats normal. I spoke alot about sex and she also opened up and revealed alot to me about her sexual past etc. I was horny of cos and hard but didnt fap.
This is kinda normal for me, i somehow am able to open girls easily online and on the phone.
I dont believe I can pull girls in real life though now due to age, weight, and hairloss.

Shes now on my snapchat so that we can stay in touch. Found her on facebook, far too young for me, dont worry shes an adult but not my type, as in dating but for sex sure yet again its a fantasy.

Ive today realised that all this is a fantasy. Im wasting time online on fantasys. Im worried about not finding the ONE, or im worried about uni work so either way im wasting time on fantasy girls that wont ever happen because im not ready for it nor am i able to yet.

My focus again needs to be my study and my health/physique.

Yesterday I did alot of research on ending procrastination and on habit formation. These are things that were on my to-do as part of my research efforts on things I want to learn to implement. I had this week of uni as you all know so it gave me time to waste alot of time as well as read the websites.

I have learnt alot that I now need to implement soon.

I wanted to backup my phone today as only little memory left but no space on any external HDD so had to order one.

So now I will eat dinner, after I have listened to the loop and plan on what I need to do.