03-01-2018, 11:23 AM
Shit, this post is the most difficult one I've ever written. I have written and rewritten several times for this post, which has never happened before. What I want to describe, or express is too difficult to be portrayed through my limited language ability. (Whether in English, or in my mother tongue) Too much mental and emotional overload. Is it from DMSI? Nope. It's from watching a show, which have gotten me thinking very much, but today's more extreme.
I am very sentimental as I have been watching a show. Is it DMSI? No I don't think so, but it could be making me having more sensitive emotion (not in a bad way, as I don't think being more sensitive is a bad thing). The show is mainly about being a mother, motherhood, and mother daughter relationship. It got me thinking very much about things. Some very serious things, especially about being a man, a good man, being a great father figure, and being a good person in general for different relationships.
It reminded me about a Japanese movie that is about being a father, but also Heavy Rain, the game. The show has gotten me to think about how being a bad man can destroy a person (especially women, children, and mother), and can create chain reaction. (i.e.Abusive dad/men making abusive mother, making abusive children who grow up to be abusive men/women, which then create more cycle) Not all woman become a bad woman, nor a bad mother because of the scar they got from being involved with bad men/father, but many end up being bad.
All of this makes me think about how I should be a good men (or so called alpha men, as many of you refer to). I also feel that becoming such person isn't being born into that person, but growing into that person. It takes strong will, courage, determination, and resilience, just like being a good mother. It also got me to think that being a good dad or a good man, isn't different from being a good woman, or good mother. It's easy in theory (or easy to say), but difficult to do.
Yet, more sentimental I get, the more sentimental I get from the show, the more I think about stuff, it is making my determination to be such person much stronger. The thing is that I think I am already that person (am I arrogant to think that way? I don't know.), but keeping being that person is just as hard, if not harder. Still I feel very strongly about becoming (or keep being) that person.
Then what is good man, good father, or good person in general? I think and feel I know, but it's very hard to express. Perhaps you guys are better at this.
I'm definitely listening to 3.2 B version of DMSI. I checked again, checked MD5Sum again. It is weird, as I thought B version doesn't have clearing. Yet, I am doing internal stuff very much. (At the same time, I think that DMSI didn't do much about internal stuff as I think that even without DMSI, watching that show would have gotten me to do the same thing regardless) Still, internal stuff is the only thing I am observing, so I don't know.
DMSI is supposed to do sex relate stuff, but whatever internal stuff that's happening seem to me not really about sex. Rather the results seem much more relatable to other subs like Alpha Male, E2, and/or AYP (romance version). I don't know if these stuff is going to somehow make me sexually irresistible, but it "definitely" doesn't feel sexual at all. These feel much bigger than sex.
I am very sentimental as I have been watching a show. Is it DMSI? No I don't think so, but it could be making me having more sensitive emotion (not in a bad way, as I don't think being more sensitive is a bad thing). The show is mainly about being a mother, motherhood, and mother daughter relationship. It got me thinking very much about things. Some very serious things, especially about being a man, a good man, being a great father figure, and being a good person in general for different relationships.
It reminded me about a Japanese movie that is about being a father, but also Heavy Rain, the game. The show has gotten me to think about how being a bad man can destroy a person (especially women, children, and mother), and can create chain reaction. (i.e.Abusive dad/men making abusive mother, making abusive children who grow up to be abusive men/women, which then create more cycle) Not all woman become a bad woman, nor a bad mother because of the scar they got from being involved with bad men/father, but many end up being bad.
All of this makes me think about how I should be a good men (or so called alpha men, as many of you refer to). I also feel that becoming such person isn't being born into that person, but growing into that person. It takes strong will, courage, determination, and resilience, just like being a good mother. It also got me to think that being a good dad or a good man, isn't different from being a good woman, or good mother. It's easy in theory (or easy to say), but difficult to do.
Yet, more sentimental I get, the more sentimental I get from the show, the more I think about stuff, it is making my determination to be such person much stronger. The thing is that I think I am already that person (am I arrogant to think that way? I don't know.), but keeping being that person is just as hard, if not harder. Still I feel very strongly about becoming (or keep being) that person.
Then what is good man, good father, or good person in general? I think and feel I know, but it's very hard to express. Perhaps you guys are better at this.
I'm definitely listening to 3.2 B version of DMSI. I checked again, checked MD5Sum again. It is weird, as I thought B version doesn't have clearing. Yet, I am doing internal stuff very much. (At the same time, I think that DMSI didn't do much about internal stuff as I think that even without DMSI, watching that show would have gotten me to do the same thing regardless) Still, internal stuff is the only thing I am observing, so I don't know.
DMSI is supposed to do sex relate stuff, but whatever internal stuff that's happening seem to me not really about sex. Rather the results seem much more relatable to other subs like Alpha Male, E2, and/or AYP (romance version). I don't know if these stuff is going to somehow make me sexually irresistible, but it "definitely" doesn't feel sexual at all. These feel much bigger than sex.
