DMSI 3.2 - B and A

[mat422]

Today I started DMSI 3.2. Even about 30 minutes before starting I have had an really importang realization. I realized how much I really fear to fall in love and therefore become vulnerable because then woman can hurt me. So many times I felt in love and got rejected and disappointed and I even remember promising myself that this would never happen again. But unfortunately the only way to make sure it never happen is to stay alone and let no one close to you.

I have noticed in a few of your other posts (whether you realise this or not) but at times you allow subconscious fear to quite heavily influence your reality.

Fear is irrational. You might believe what you're thinking and doing is "right" but if the emotion underlying this thought process is fear based, then it's quite a poor perceptual position to be living from.

I'm glad you've had this realisation. Hopefully H/C removes this for you.

Well, all my upbringing was pretty much fear based. It is also common within my family where all need to be safe. You say fear is irrational but it feels/felt very real. In a certain way it was probably the only motivation I had. However, I hope I can break through soon.

Hey man I know what that's like. The whole fear is irrational thing doesn't work for me either. Fear is fear, it could be all in my head and imaginary but it still messes with me. My best advice is to really dig down into why you have the fear. Sometimes fear actually stops you from doing that as well, but you sort of have to dissect it.

Since your type is INFP, we tend to face unique challenges in that our dominant cognitive function is based in feeling. More thinking oriented types have a tendency to explain away fear as irrational and it works for them because their whole cognitive process is based on logical frameworks. So basically do what works for you and try not to give in to fear and dont see it as this intangible thing that blocks you.

You're only born with two fears: A fear of falling and a fear of loud noises.

The rest are learned hence they're irrational.

Shannon agreed to this in a post in his journal discussion thread a while back.

Where you're wrong is that fear is "actually an intangible thing that blocks you". Subconscious fear builds the wall that confines a person's reality.

Yeah but that has no practical application. How does knowing it's irrational aid in any way? Plenty of people who struggle with fear are painfully aware of how irrational it is. I'd go so far as to say there's a lot of shame built up surrounding it because the fears can be so goddamn stupid. Having lived that reality for a while where I couldn't even hold down a part time job. I don't know your history and if you've experienced anything like that, but it's easy to talk about WHY we shouldn't be afraid of something vs actually not being afraid. Shannon has also stated his type is INTP. People don't put much weight into MBTI, but it's pretty much how your brain processes information. An individual who's always looking for logical inconsistencies about the world around them will see fear as a highly irrational thing and be able to deconstruct it. A feeling type will need to find a different way, I've found compassion and understanding to break the emotional impact of fear works better. This isn't a matter of what's rational, this is a matter of navigating the labyrinth of the mind in the most familiar form of cognition to the individual. Which means there is no one size fits all solution.

Also I said don't let it be an intangible thing. I was encouraging him to keep exploring instead of saying "oh well the fear is too much, it stops me".