DMSI 3.2 - B and A

[Shawn]

Today I started DMSI 3.2. Even about 30 minutes before starting I have had an really importang realization. I realized how much I really fear to fall in love and therefore become vulnerable because then woman can hurt me. So many times I felt in love and got rejected and disappointed and I even remember promising myself that this would never happen again. But unfortunately the only way to make sure it never happen is to stay alone and let no one close to you.

Another thing happened about after 15 minutes listening to the sub. I started to have thoughts that I would die soon if I listen to this sub. I didn't mentioned but I have had this thoughts already a week or two before. This time I asked myself why the hell I would die if I listened to the sub and got immediately an answer. But the answer really shocked me, because even if it is not life threatening to reach the goal of this sub, from that very special point of view which I got presented it could be really life threatening to reach the goal. It probably makes no sense to you but I won't explain this as it is very personal. Saying this, this could be a major factor which prevented full execution.

The third thing came in my mind which I was already aware of was the "I-don't-know-what-to-do"-factor. My bad social skills and lack of experience makes all the game very unpredictable. But I guess only experience and time will make this point better.

I really need to tell that this sub feels really smooth at this point. Considering my last week I am positively surprised. Didn't notice much of the aura at this point (only slightly while listening) but I guess this is a question of time for me. Other thing which made my day was the degree of clarity I get the answer to my problems now. At previous version it was more vague but now it is really clear. Don't know if this is an improved CSMA module or a completely new module but it really kicks ass.

EDIT: Didn't read other journals with exception of Shannon's Discussion Journal as I want to see what it does for me before I see what it does for others

I think the importance we place on something is in direct result then of how much we fear it. I dont fear love so I have no approach anxiety usually but I fear the results of failing at studying so I procrastinate I think and I got this sudden realisation from reading your post just now lol

What im saying is dont fear, relax, love isnt the ultimate factor or goal of life, loving someone is, sharing your best self with another is. IF they love you back they are worthy of more love but if they do not screw them cos it was their loss.

I also understand I think about the whole life threatening side you mentioned and again feel its due to the importance you yourself place on this life goal of yours so if you need to talk im always around buddy but you will outgrow this too because you can and you shall.

Dont worry about not knowing what to do. The way I see this sub, if it works then its designed for the ones we find hot to come and do the work for us lol all we have to do is sit back, relax and accept them when they approach us etc. Hell even tell them a bad joke and watch them want to get into bed with us for it lol

sorry for interrupting your thread, just wanted you to know youre not alone and this is from someone known to be a stonewaller

Well, for me studying is no problem at all. Didn't do regulary but it was ok.

When it comes to love then I know that love is not the goal of this sub but it could happen as result so I think that was something I was fearing.