02-19-2012, 11:26 AM
(This post was last modified: 02-19-2012, 11:28 AM by ManOfElectricity.)
Hey Shannon.
Thanks for your response to my post about porn. I really appreciate your perspective because it's very balanced and very healthy. My perspective on porn has changed over the years. In the beginning when I was a teenager I saw it as something healthy and fun. My parents are really supportive and understanding and made it clear to me that as long as anything I did was between consenting adults there was no problem. I had this perspective up until my late twenties when I started getting into the PUA community.
I then started reading a lot of newsletters, forum posts and listening to a lot of podcasts that said that it was unhealthy and that it makes men repulsive to women or too needy for sex. When I got into natural grounding specifically is when I quit cold turkey. I did notice a huge improvement in my interactions with women at the time. However there would be times a couple months later where I would give in and use porn occasionally. I found that it didn't have much of a negative effect on my interactions with women if at all and if anything I can remember specific times where I used porn and within a few days to week later had some wonderful interactions with women as long as I was either doing affirmations or natural grounding most of the time.
I think porn is like junk food or alcohol, as long as someone is eating and drinking mostly in a healthy way the occasional ice cream, pizza and beer won't hurt, if anything it might be beneficial.
So I've sort of come full circle, I'm back to having the same thoughts about porn that I did when I was a teenager again. I feel that porn is no big deal at the moment and I have control over it again.
I think my issue with porn might have being that I was trying to be a perfectionist, or trying to live up to what I perceived as someone else's standards. Ironically I think this was what was causing me the most stress and worry about my interactions with women.
About what you said about the States. I was born in New Jersey but spent most of my life in the UK. I used to go to San Francisco a lot in the past because my sister used to live there and also women there were not only very approachable but often a lot more proactive. I think San Francisco is very sex positive but I assumed that the entire States is like that when maybe it's not this case. I recently read a book called "Ameirca's War On Sex" by Dr Marty Klein which I found really interesting and basically agreeing with everything you just wrote. I think the puritanical views about sex are also here in the UK to because when I meet women from the rest of Europe or anywhere else outside the UK they tend to flirt a lot more and be more open with their sexual interest.
Thanks for your response to my post about porn. I really appreciate your perspective because it's very balanced and very healthy. My perspective on porn has changed over the years. In the beginning when I was a teenager I saw it as something healthy and fun. My parents are really supportive and understanding and made it clear to me that as long as anything I did was between consenting adults there was no problem. I had this perspective up until my late twenties when I started getting into the PUA community.
I then started reading a lot of newsletters, forum posts and listening to a lot of podcasts that said that it was unhealthy and that it makes men repulsive to women or too needy for sex. When I got into natural grounding specifically is when I quit cold turkey. I did notice a huge improvement in my interactions with women at the time. However there would be times a couple months later where I would give in and use porn occasionally. I found that it didn't have much of a negative effect on my interactions with women if at all and if anything I can remember specific times where I used porn and within a few days to week later had some wonderful interactions with women as long as I was either doing affirmations or natural grounding most of the time.
I think porn is like junk food or alcohol, as long as someone is eating and drinking mostly in a healthy way the occasional ice cream, pizza and beer won't hurt, if anything it might be beneficial.
So I've sort of come full circle, I'm back to having the same thoughts about porn that I did when I was a teenager again. I feel that porn is no big deal at the moment and I have control over it again.
I think my issue with porn might have being that I was trying to be a perfectionist, or trying to live up to what I perceived as someone else's standards. Ironically I think this was what was causing me the most stress and worry about my interactions with women.
About what you said about the States. I was born in New Jersey but spent most of my life in the UK. I used to go to San Francisco a lot in the past because my sister used to live there and also women there were not only very approachable but often a lot more proactive. I think San Francisco is very sex positive but I assumed that the entire States is like that when maybe it's not this case. I recently read a book called "Ameirca's War On Sex" by Dr Marty Klein which I found really interesting and basically agreeing with everything you just wrote. I think the puritanical views about sex are also here in the UK to because when I meet women from the rest of Europe or anywhere else outside the UK they tend to flirt a lot more and be more open with their sexual interest.
