DMSI 3.2 it's official

[mat422]

I'm filled with this inner rage. So much discontent. It's incredibly hard for me to find any motivation at work. Not even fear of being fired effects me. It's not that I slack off, it's just I'm not going above and beyond to advance in my skillset. I just don't have the energy to be honest. And if I do force myself to try to learn new stuff I find myself zoning out, not comprehending much, just getting frustrated. After a certain point it feels like I'm just being fueled by the guilt of not learning more. So it's almost like I pretend to attempt to learn new stuff just to alleviate the guilt. But then I catch what I'm doing and just get pissed off because it devolves into "what the fuck am I doing here?"

My car still isn't fixed. It was just a simple repair but since my car is so old nobody sells the parts. And they are the dumbest parts, a headlight mount and a turn signal lamp. I was talking to the guy and he said if he couldn't find the parts then I should just come take the car and then consider junking it. I'm thinking to myself, wtf? An entire car shot to shit because I couldn't find a fucking bracket for a headlight. I'm trying my best to remain positive through all this and tell myself it'll all work out, but DMSI has me on edge. And I don't know if that's because after all the clearing I'm learning that I'm actually very poor at managing anger or if my subconscious is just at it's limit right now and it's just raging at anything that goes wrong.