For so long I have gone through life using other people as a compass of how I should be, think and do. Sure I have done things that I wanted, like go to the university, travel, etc. but I always looked to other people on how I should "be". Ergo, I have been pretty insecure in myself and catered other peoples needs over my own. I start to realize this, and how deeply ingrained it is in my behavior and attitude toward many things. Hard to give an example, but I maybe come up with something later. The important thing is that it's colored my behavior and sat in the way of my own happiness and enjoyment of life. I also realize that I have felt empty for a long time, and I believe it come from that I looked for someone else to fil that hole inside of me. Someone, or things, status, etc. But things and people are temporary in that sense, they can't fill your hole more than for a brief time, you need to be content inside yourself first.
I now know it has started with my mother, and her desire to control people around her. She spend a lot of her time reacting to the outer world and being emotional about it, feeling angry when people don't are as she expect them to be, and in general is dependent upon everyone else to feel good. Being unconscious about this, and realizing that it isn't my responsibility to keep her happy (or anyone else for that matter), I have fed into this and neglected my own emotions and needs. Isn't it crazy that I'm at the age of 27 have to realize that I also have emotional needs? Well, better to realized it at 27 than to never realize it.
i am discovering/rediscovering who I am, and who I have been, and it's an interesting journey so far. Possibilities are going to open up, now that I know that I don't need to feel shameful about my needs, but can acknowledge them and then go out and fulfill them - the world is my oyster. I now know that my emotional needs are my responsibility and i ow my self to fulfill them, high and low. I'm getting to know my "emotional-self" more and more and it feels good.
If you go around trying to make other people happy/feel good/satisfy their needs you will:
1) Loose yourself, and what is important to you
2) Feed into other peoples victim mentality
3) Also become a victim as you may start depending upon other peoples emotional well-being
I now know it has started with my mother, and her desire to control people around her. She spend a lot of her time reacting to the outer world and being emotional about it, feeling angry when people don't are as she expect them to be, and in general is dependent upon everyone else to feel good. Being unconscious about this, and realizing that it isn't my responsibility to keep her happy (or anyone else for that matter), I have fed into this and neglected my own emotions and needs. Isn't it crazy that I'm at the age of 27 have to realize that I also have emotional needs? Well, better to realized it at 27 than to never realize it.
i am discovering/rediscovering who I am, and who I have been, and it's an interesting journey so far. Possibilities are going to open up, now that I know that I don't need to feel shameful about my needs, but can acknowledge them and then go out and fulfill them - the world is my oyster. I now know that my emotional needs are my responsibility and i ow my self to fulfill them, high and low. I'm getting to know my "emotional-self" more and more and it feels good.
If you go around trying to make other people happy/feel good/satisfy their needs you will:
1) Loose yourself, and what is important to you
2) Feed into other peoples victim mentality
3) Also become a victim as you may start depending upon other peoples emotional well-being
