01-07-2018, 04:46 PM
Stage 2, Day 26
- Feeling extremely irritable, almost as irritable as I was as a teenager which in those times, I had a short fuse.
- I’m pushing past procrastination to get things done. I even went as far as to plan out my entire week and gave myself a due date for each individual task I want to accomplish.
- My wedding anniversary is next weekend. I actually do plan to celebrate it. I already chose what to do and knocked reservations out of the way. This is where the maturity programming had to kick in because I could’ve easily used the money on something else. Even now I could still get what I desire but that could put me in a bad situation over the next 11 days. I’m just going to have to delay my personal gratification because I’m not putting myself in the hole for the purchase. It is a tool I’m going to need in the near future and I’ll probably have to wait months for it to be available again but oh well, I’ll just save up for it so when the next opportunity comes around I’ll be ready to buy it and actually be able to afford it in the long term.
- For part of the day I’ve begun to realize that when I lack direction and purpose, I’m easily not at my best. Seems I’ve come to the realization that I have to actually have a reason to do things in order to even act these days, as opposed to in my early 20’s where I literally did whatever I wanted just for the hell of it. I’m contemplating who I am and who I’m becoming, what I truly want, why I want it, what I’ll do once I’ve achieved my goals, and even what I’m willing to give up to reach my goals. I feel lost but don’t want to do what everyone else is because then I feel like I would’ve dug myself too deep into things that don’t make me fulfilled. I’d just be doing them just to have something to do and I’d rather not act at all if that’s going to be the case.
- I’ve decided to start meditating again in order to ground myself and maintain my “zen”, especially as a man.
- I’m questioning all the information from my past and present. Reason is, I don’t want to hold onto or adopt beliefs and philosophies until I know the origin, why and how a particular belief or philosophy came about, and if I feel it’s valid according to my personal experience, and if it can stand up to a scientific method of questioning and observation to distinguish fact from falsehood. I won’t live my life believing what others think just because they believe in something. We all have our personal views and opinions but more often than not, these views were programmed into us and never questioned, which made us into people we weren’t meant to be. After all isn’t that why were using subliminals in the first place? To clear out the junk and replace it all with productive thoughts, beliefs and attitudes, and ultimately actions?
...it’s been a long day.
- Feeling extremely irritable, almost as irritable as I was as a teenager which in those times, I had a short fuse.
- I’m pushing past procrastination to get things done. I even went as far as to plan out my entire week and gave myself a due date for each individual task I want to accomplish.
- My wedding anniversary is next weekend. I actually do plan to celebrate it. I already chose what to do and knocked reservations out of the way. This is where the maturity programming had to kick in because I could’ve easily used the money on something else. Even now I could still get what I desire but that could put me in a bad situation over the next 11 days. I’m just going to have to delay my personal gratification because I’m not putting myself in the hole for the purchase. It is a tool I’m going to need in the near future and I’ll probably have to wait months for it to be available again but oh well, I’ll just save up for it so when the next opportunity comes around I’ll be ready to buy it and actually be able to afford it in the long term.
- For part of the day I’ve begun to realize that when I lack direction and purpose, I’m easily not at my best. Seems I’ve come to the realization that I have to actually have a reason to do things in order to even act these days, as opposed to in my early 20’s where I literally did whatever I wanted just for the hell of it. I’m contemplating who I am and who I’m becoming, what I truly want, why I want it, what I’ll do once I’ve achieved my goals, and even what I’m willing to give up to reach my goals. I feel lost but don’t want to do what everyone else is because then I feel like I would’ve dug myself too deep into things that don’t make me fulfilled. I’d just be doing them just to have something to do and I’d rather not act at all if that’s going to be the case.
- I’ve decided to start meditating again in order to ground myself and maintain my “zen”, especially as a man.
- I’m questioning all the information from my past and present. Reason is, I don’t want to hold onto or adopt beliefs and philosophies until I know the origin, why and how a particular belief or philosophy came about, and if I feel it’s valid according to my personal experience, and if it can stand up to a scientific method of questioning and observation to distinguish fact from falsehood. I won’t live my life believing what others think just because they believe in something. We all have our personal views and opinions but more often than not, these views were programmed into us and never questioned, which made us into people we weren’t meant to be. After all isn’t that why were using subliminals in the first place? To clear out the junk and replace it all with productive thoughts, beliefs and attitudes, and ultimately actions?
...it’s been a long day.
