01-06-2018, 05:54 PM
(01-04-2018, 01:40 PM)rumi5 Wrote: mat422,
From your description above you and i may think alike,constant thoughts. I ran DMSI a for about a year with not much too show for it but my circumstances aren't great where i live right now so it might be hard to tell. Shannon told me to try b for a couple of months but I'm going to do my AM6 run next before I move but I am really going to watch your journal to see how it go's. Best of luck.
Thanks. Yeah to be honest I've been thinking about running AM again. The only thing that stops me is I'm so used to the smoothness of the new tech Shannon has made, I just can't go back.
Ooof. Side B has hit me hard lately, not in a good way. I'd say without the healing and clearing the fear feels stronger. But the difference is the focus isn't directed inwards and obsessed with destroying that fear. That was largely a losing game if I'm honest. I'd be afraid, get overly obsessed with ridding myself of fear, avoid stuff till I got rid of fear, not get rid of fear, and repeat in a never ending cycle of a stalemate with the fear. At least on B the focus is on being dragged through the fear. So even though I'm really twisted up right now and can't focus for shit or relax with anything, there's constant forward progression. Not super smooth, but it's like every time i get stuck I get a kick in the ass from dmsi instead of falling into one of those ruminating cycles I'd get into on A.
Honestly I don't think healing and clearing is all there yet for some individuals such as myself. Too many loopholes, too many possibilities of getting stuck, too much inward focus. I lacked balance on A. Closing that option of healing and clearing makes me deeply uncomfortable because I know I'm going to be forced to face all my fears. Part of me really really wants to go back to A. But I know where that road leads and it doesn't lead to improvement. Looking back on A I'm not even sure the healing and clearing did anything to be honest. Most of my improvements in my life were a result of me facing what I feared. So DMSI did help, but it helped by pushing me and forcing me to execute even when I didn't want to. It never really felt effortless, easy, or like I was free of fear. Which leads me to believe that all that time spent on A might have been unnecessary.
INFP
