01-05-2018, 11:18 AM
I feel so damn much better! It's amazing, I'm breaking out from the depression and I'm almost myself again! So damn grateful for this and even though it's a bit more left, I just feel amazed that I'm almost there.
Side-note (sorry for ranting again but now as I see things clearer I need to get this off my chest).
I hate my parents, and I am not kidding around. I hate being around them. They are so negative, and demanding of everything around them. They complain as they come home, they get angry when they don't get attention, they are just sucking any energy they can get from you. But I am stronger now, and able to withstand it, they don't get what they want from me.
Example: I am sitting at home just surfing, my mom comes home downstairs and as soon as she enter I can hear her saying "damn shitty home I hate this" because my dad is asleep and didn't greet her (wtf?). She comes up to me, say hello, I say hello and just talk about something. I am surfing and she tell something about how her evening was, but I keep my eyes on the computer (not in an "ignoring"-way, just relaxed sitting there listening, but not actively looking at her - which is DAMN OK she is not 5 years old) but then she interrupts and rushes away and complains "oh damn it doesnt matter" in a - no one will listen kind of way and gets angry and upset.
I am SO F*CKING TIRED of this childish behavior. I don't have energy to do anything about this. She can be angry if she want. I am there as much as I can, and I have tried to explain to her that I don't always have energy to be happy and listening. But she never learns, she can never learn a lesson. For F*CK sake, seriously it grinds my gears but I have learned to just let it go and let her go f*ck herself (would NEVER say anything like this, but for my own peace of mind I need to blow off some of the steam inside before I calm down).
Reflections or thoughts on this? Hope I can convey the situation in a way that is not to scewed.
I live as good as I can, I try to do as much as I can, but I am not fully healed yet and can be there for other people, but somehow this cannot fit into the mind of my parents.
Side-note (sorry for ranting again but now as I see things clearer I need to get this off my chest).
I hate my parents, and I am not kidding around. I hate being around them. They are so negative, and demanding of everything around them. They complain as they come home, they get angry when they don't get attention, they are just sucking any energy they can get from you. But I am stronger now, and able to withstand it, they don't get what they want from me.
Example: I am sitting at home just surfing, my mom comes home downstairs and as soon as she enter I can hear her saying "damn shitty home I hate this" because my dad is asleep and didn't greet her (wtf?). She comes up to me, say hello, I say hello and just talk about something. I am surfing and she tell something about how her evening was, but I keep my eyes on the computer (not in an "ignoring"-way, just relaxed sitting there listening, but not actively looking at her - which is DAMN OK she is not 5 years old) but then she interrupts and rushes away and complains "oh damn it doesnt matter" in a - no one will listen kind of way and gets angry and upset.
I am SO F*CKING TIRED of this childish behavior. I don't have energy to do anything about this. She can be angry if she want. I am there as much as I can, and I have tried to explain to her that I don't always have energy to be happy and listening. But she never learns, she can never learn a lesson. For F*CK sake, seriously it grinds my gears but I have learned to just let it go and let her go f*ck herself (would NEVER say anything like this, but for my own peace of mind I need to blow off some of the steam inside before I calm down).
Reflections or thoughts on this? Hope I can convey the situation in a way that is not to scewed.
I live as good as I can, I try to do as much as I can, but I am not fully healed yet and can be there for other people, but somehow this cannot fit into the mind of my parents.
