(12-18-2017, 04:20 PM)CatMan Wrote: Before AM I had a bad relationship with my mother often. Things greatly improved on AM6 and beyond.
I had several depressive times before subs, sometimes on them over time. I wish I could give something to you "to do". But really, it just took time to resolve things internally and then stabilise.
Maybe it's important to remember you are listening to a sub designed specifically FOR internal growth, clearing and healing as a direct focus, and no limited scope at all. So the potential for this kind of feeling over time while massive C&H rages on, and resistance fights against it, is very likely. So maybe understand it's all a process and to be expected. And realise you will go through bouts of feeling crappy while this is tug 'o war is taking place. Try not to get too emotionally invested in that due to it just being a temporary state and not some "problem" with you. That's what helped me get through these times, the realisation WHY it's occurring (heavy C&H mixed with push back resistance causing these feelings), and just being patient and realising it's a temporary condition.
Hope that helps, Greenduck!
Thanks for sharing with me CatMan. I know what you are saying, but I have a pretty easy time to have relationships with other people, but not my mom. So I guess that how much I even grow internally, things are going to stay strained with her as some (much) of the problem is within her. I can't change her, only she can. I am starting to learn how to be around her to not get myself hurt, but it's draining to live with someone who you have a weird relationship with. I have a hard time to define what really is the problem, more than that she most often is irritated whatever I say, so I stop talking to her. I don't have any energy to waste toward trying to repair a relationship with someone who is constantly nagging and irritated. Before she has done work on become a easier person to be with, I don't know what I can do on the matter. I have my hands full of my own life and trying to stay afloat and getting out of my depression.
Yeah I get what you are saying regarding seeing that "you" are the problem, as some people tend to explain any problem in the world, by the problem being other people. My mother is constantly complaining on how my dad and I act, and I have totally lost respect for her ability to judge a persons character, as her standpoint in 99 % of cases is done from a victim-standpoint and she have a big problem admitting to mistakes and taking on responsibility for anything gone wrong. Lesson learned. I did not see that before, but bought into the explanation that something is wrong with me, and I think that I am actually starting to break out of this, which have been laying very deeply and profoundly in me, that something is wrong with me.
Anyway - if you want, maybe you can explain the difference in your relationship with her, how it was before, how it is now? What changes did AM to you and how did they affect your relationship with your mother? How do you handle irritated people in general? How have you changed, and how are you as a person right now towards other people? A lot of questions, but maybe you get the gist of what I am looking for in your answer
Take care / Greenduck
