12-10-2017, 09:45 AM
Screw it, gonna just spill my thoughts here. I'll be honest running this sub I feel like I should be having a ton of success with girls and all these other little insights are just lame achievements. But I'm seriously digging into some core emotional things lately. Things that make me question just what the hell I've been striving for for years now.
I never wanted my heart to turn cold, but unfortunately that's what happened. I see people laugh and smile and all I can think is it's fake. I see people being kind to me and all I can think is how they don't really like me. Going through life constantly looking out for how to avoid being hurt or screwed over, instead of taking the time to appreciate the good out there. All these defense mechanisms. Being aloof, not getting too emotionally invested in people, being a loner. Having this feeling that the world is out to get me. It sucks and I just formed that conclusion based on all the evidence I collected over the years. And then I systematically cherry picked events that reinforced that view.
I've got my faults. Life can definitely screw you over, but you have to constantly try to find the good. Because if you dwell too much in the negative it's a dark spiral. And everything just gets worse from there as you expect life to unfold in the worst way possible.
I never wanted my heart to turn cold, but unfortunately that's what happened. I see people laugh and smile and all I can think is it's fake. I see people being kind to me and all I can think is how they don't really like me. Going through life constantly looking out for how to avoid being hurt or screwed over, instead of taking the time to appreciate the good out there. All these defense mechanisms. Being aloof, not getting too emotionally invested in people, being a loner. Having this feeling that the world is out to get me. It sucks and I just formed that conclusion based on all the evidence I collected over the years. And then I systematically cherry picked events that reinforced that view.
I've got my faults. Life can definitely screw you over, but you have to constantly try to find the good. Because if you dwell too much in the negative it's a dark spiral. And everything just gets worse from there as you expect life to unfold in the worst way possible.
INFP
