12-09-2017, 08:41 PM
(12-09-2017, 09:01 AM)Superman Wrote: I don't think 4 loops would hurt, I've done much more. What I find is that at first it really hits you and then as you continue it smooths out.
Yeah I've gone all the way up to 6 in the past. It's just about balancing the demands of the sub with goal. Last time I upped the loops my cognition took a nosedive which made it harder to perform my job. Hard to say if that was resistance based or I was overloading my brain.
Had a moment of seriously contemplating quitting DMSI altogether. Thinking the fear is too great and I'm just basically in a stalemate with my subconscious. But I think I keep waiting for this big breakthrough and maybe I'm expecting the wrong thing. Even though I'm not executing 100%, there's definitely still changes going on so I just need to chill out and stop worrying so much. Most if not all of my stress comes about because I keep waiting for that big moment of clarity instead enjoying my life. And I'm so obsessed with obtaining the effects of DMSI because I've put so many demands on myself to be this 100% confident perfect type person. When really I should be working towards bettering myself, but at the same time not be afraid to put myself out there as I am. Not waiting until I'm the ideal image of myself before acting.
I've also realized I'm not acknowledging my emotional pain enough. I've been treating it as this unwanted thing in my body instead of realizing it's me and it's coming from somewhere that needs compassion. Criticizing myself for having these fears and at times intense loneliness instead of providing support for myself has been my downfall. I lack compassion for myself and I thought I could fill that void through external achievements.
INFP
