In this for the healing DMSI v3.1 A

[kalmah0804]

Nevermind Kalmah, I get it now. After that post I had some time to think. My depressive ruminating state was actually a result of the discomfort module in DMSI. I kept perpetuating that instead of executing.


I get it now. I get how I'm the one creating this misery for myself, just running narratives in my head and waiting for dmsi to change me. When really dmsi shows me the way, but I have to consciously choose to change my life. If I'm feeling miserable it's because I'm telling myself negative things. And if I tell myself I can't change that's just another belief that I have to ignore and just reinforce the fact that I can.


I'm seeing now that we truly are what we believe and to become what we want we just have to focus on being that. The negatives I tell myself aren't inherent truths, just creations from my own mind.

Exactly brother. The "narrative self" does so much good/damage on our own self-perception, but that's all your life and mindset is--a "narrative"--aka, it isn't really set in stone or real--it's just the tale you've spun for yourself psychologically on how your whole life has led up to this moment right now and how key moments and figures have made you who are today.

But you can let go of the narrative or change the narrative with enough concentrated effort. Yes, I was horribly abused by all of society for almost my entire life. Was that my fault? Hell, no! Does that mean I have to continue living my life feeling like I'm ostracized, alone, tormented and unloved? Hell no! That's just the story I've been telling myself for the last 20+ years of my whole goddamned life. We can still become the people we want to become and not have to let a goddamned "story" ruin how we feel about ourselves in the moment. We should be living life for the enjoyment and fulfillment of it, not to prove anything, or not to satisfy some deep-down "need" born out of a personal story of self-loathing and misery.

You can do some more basic reading on the narrative self over here:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Narrative_identity

It's pretty basic, but really look at how the narrative self evolves over the course of our lives from a basic linear narrative, to one with cause and effect relationships from major events in our lives, and then to one where we begin to apply "themes" to the story of our whole lives, and how we think they're going to go down in the future. What the basic Wiki page really fails to mention at large, however, is the idea that narratives aren't set in stone. They're fictional constructs, to an extent, that we've spun for ourselves psychologically to explain our identity. If someone asks you "tell me a little bit about yourself", you're going to give them your "life story". Significant events layered over the course of time have triggered you deeply emotionally and given you an overwhelming sense of a "theme", such as, "I cannot be truly loved" (this is just me spitballing here, not saying you have these themes in particular). You live with the "theme" caused by the most important parts of your life story and gain a sense of identity and self-perception from these events--but you yourself still give them emotional power and control over you because your whole identity is based on the themes you've derived from your life story.

But you can pick new themes or, at the very least, realize that your identity isn't based on your past and your "life story", and that with real willpower (plus the usage of subs), you can make real, life-changing active changes to your entire identity as you, me, and everyone else you've ever come into contact with knows it. The Mat you're going to be once you can let go of Old Mat is going to be a completely different person--you literally have no idea who you could be if only you could let go of the "life story" of Old Mat.

So just let go of the past, breathe, and realize, when you're emotionally upset over something, this is your brain re-living old wounds, making you feel like you cannot escape your life story--because your identity is based on that story--to suffer is who you are--but it's not really... it's who you currently think you are.... and only you can change that.