11-30-2017, 07:48 PM
Thanks Kalmah, I understand a lot of what you're saying. And they are similar thoughts I've had in the past. The problem for me is it's all theory for me. There's this bridge or gap between understanding suffering vs being free of it. I've spent a lot of time thinking similar things. Needs vs wants, letting go of control, not being overly attached to things. I spent a large portion of my life in a very passive allowing life to happen journey mentality and it burned me. I fucked up royally because I was too attached to the idea of not planning, pursuing, pushing, and having everything come to me in time. All that happened was time passed me by and I missed out on life.
And in my experience when I got into these mindsets or enlightenment of understanding how I don't need something outside myself, it was just fear in disguise. Another way to keep me tethered to my old self, but this time a positive spin on it so I'd be less likely to resist it.
I'm just at a point in my life where I'm really jaded. I can find contentment within myself most of the time. The problem is that doesn't last when I'm thrown into real life. It's like a nice little bubble, but that's all it is. No different from any other type of distraction. It's a false sense of harmony. I've actually had to break this habit because it's what contributed to my lack of happiness. The only time I'll know when my life is in balance is when I can live my life and not have to go through all this philosophical jargon in my head to convince me of something that just isn't true.
If I completely missed the point of your post I apologise. You're probably further ahead than me and understand this stuff on a more instinctual feeling based level. I just don't think I'm there yet so I'm unable to apply the ideas.
And in my experience when I got into these mindsets or enlightenment of understanding how I don't need something outside myself, it was just fear in disguise. Another way to keep me tethered to my old self, but this time a positive spin on it so I'd be less likely to resist it.
I'm just at a point in my life where I'm really jaded. I can find contentment within myself most of the time. The problem is that doesn't last when I'm thrown into real life. It's like a nice little bubble, but that's all it is. No different from any other type of distraction. It's a false sense of harmony. I've actually had to break this habit because it's what contributed to my lack of happiness. The only time I'll know when my life is in balance is when I can live my life and not have to go through all this philosophical jargon in my head to convince me of something that just isn't true.
If I completely missed the point of your post I apologise. You're probably further ahead than me and understand this stuff on a more instinctual feeling based level. I just don't think I'm there yet so I'm unable to apply the ideas.
INFP
