11-20-2017, 04:48 AM
Oh man yesterday sucked so bad. I woke up with a little anxiety and then it got worse and worse as the day progressed. Eventually I had to just go into my bed and I don't even know what happened. I just couldn't handle anything anymore. At that point I realized I was running away so I decided to face the fear head on. Let me tell you, that didn't work. Somehow I've been bypassing the emotional shielding and that's what has been screwing me up the most. But the emotional shielding is really important because I've realized I can't handle the extent of my fear on a conscious level.
With that I realized two things. These are emotional problems and need to be handled on an emotional level of understanding. Trying to figure out the whys doesn't help. I need to cut the stories and reasons attached to it and just release what holds me back. The second thing is really nailing it into my head the mentality of these being passing sensations and not to be attached to them. Even if I'm afraid of being hurt or rejected, it does me no good delving into logical arguments as to why my feelings aren't rational. All that does is act as a distraction while the controlling feeling still dominates my actions. The only difference is I delude my conscious mind into believing I have control. All this healing, there are no words for any of it. It takes place on such an intangible level for me it doesn't make any logical sense. It's all based in the realm of emotion and I've realized maybe my emotional regulation skills aren't that good.
With that I realized two things. These are emotional problems and need to be handled on an emotional level of understanding. Trying to figure out the whys doesn't help. I need to cut the stories and reasons attached to it and just release what holds me back. The second thing is really nailing it into my head the mentality of these being passing sensations and not to be attached to them. Even if I'm afraid of being hurt or rejected, it does me no good delving into logical arguments as to why my feelings aren't rational. All that does is act as a distraction while the controlling feeling still dominates my actions. The only difference is I delude my conscious mind into believing I have control. All this healing, there are no words for any of it. It takes place on such an intangible level for me it doesn't make any logical sense. It's all based in the realm of emotion and I've realized maybe my emotional regulation skills aren't that good.
INFP
