(11-06-2017, 02:16 PM)Griffin Wrote: hi man,
i had a thought come up, i dont know if your open to this but carrying Black Tourmaline, Magnetite and maybe rose quartz can help you with this.
these stones are protective and rose quartz also helps with the heart chakra and with negative feelings around you.
cheers,
Griffin
Hey man! Thanks for letting out some recommendations, really appreciate it.
I tried stones a while back actually but I just got attached to the thought of them so I stopped and went "al natural" even though that they provided somewhat a comfort.
Anyway, things are better. Up and downs but overall better!
My mom is still as she is, but what I wrote a couple of days ago, is now not such a big problem. I have more and more contact with my own emotions. I sat in my car, and just breathed today, and took a deep breath and let out something that I have been carrying around. Slowly it's getting better, it really is.
My mom is wanting me to behave in a specific way, to be more empathetic towards her, more understanding, more blablabla. And in a ordinary setting with someone else I could totally take this seriously. But with her I have stopped getting involved with her "request" as I have learned the hard way it's just her way of trying to influence me to fit into her world. I have changed and I am not the person she thinks I am, but she cannot really accept this for some reason. So I have just changed to care for my own well-being. I have almost given up trying to explain to her that I need to be free to behave in any way that I feel I need to, and not behave accordingly to her needs (I am certainly not a douchebag or something like that, I just keep most of the time to myself, read books, etc-) it's just that she want "her son" to be as she "need him to be". She is codependent and suck the air out of you and are not at all aware of your needs (ironic as she want you to satisfy hers), which is really draining. Anyway I am happy I have come to this realization and been able to change my behavior towards what I need more and more and created a new dynamic for myself. Not letting other people such as my mom, who in the end only care for her own needs control who I am or what I do.
I don't allow myself to get upset by things that other people are upset about, why should I? Easy logic, but this change in way to behave have taken some time and effort to reach, but is now rewarding for myself and my emotional well-being, rather than trying to get other people happy all the time, which is a real waste of energy and time.
Side note: Really think my root chakra is opening up, as I could feel my whole body when I stood in the shower today and felt secure in it. Not 100 % but a great improvement.
PS.
I realized that I needed to blow some more steam of the issue with my mother so I really can get into the core of it. I am so damn tired of that everything she do has a ulterior motive, and if she don't get as she want she get angry and throw around curse-words about me, my dad and our house, that we suck that she is enslaved in the house, etc. She isn't. We just don't want to have anything to do with her. I don't want to help her with cooking because she is just draining to be around, same goes with everything. When she is gone on vacation etc we have a chill time, but when she comes back she just start to complain about EVERYTHING. Everything is about her and her problems. All the motherf*cking time, for f*ck sake.
