11-03-2017, 03:01 PM
(This post was last modified: 11-03-2017, 03:29 PM by SargeMaximus.)
So, just got back from getting my hair cut.
Right away I could tell attraction was down. The first girl (big tit arab) seemed friendly but less enthused to talk to me. Even saying "thank you" to her for telling me my hairdresser would be out shortly felt beta and chasing. I also "pecked" (quick lean-in) when I said it. *facepalm*
Hair dresser was out promptly. No delays this time.
Not much EC held between us. I notice I'm not holding EC very well. In fact, I'm very avoidant in my EC until some times when I just make it effortlessly.
When getting my hair cut, I made her laugh a few times but mostly she was complaining to me about her sons living with her. She said "The sex wasn't worth it"
then we switched topics onto a trip she took to a neighbouring city. She mentioned a guy texted her to come over. She never said if she did but it was heavily implied. She was like "He's a sexy firefighter. He's hot... REALLY hot." then she denied doing anything (I didn't ask, she just went "but nah, we didn't do anything etc") and started qualifying the guy to me "he's done well for himself. He's a chief now, etc etc"
I was all like "right on, good for him" (I used to do that with girls, pump up their BF while they told me about him and it seemed to work) but honestly, right now I just feel like I'm in AFC land. Worse than AFC actually.
When we were up at the front paying, my HD dropped something. Perfect opportunity to give a butt display, but she did not. Also, she said her goodbyes and left before done which has NEVER happened.
I wonder how much DMSI blinded me to how I was, because if my "leaning in" behavior and stuff was always there, that could explain a lot of things. I think maybe DMSI just made me not care.
HOWEVER, because of these recent developments I'm thinking of going back on DMSI to get back the attraction that seemed to be there. but now I'm completely confused.
Was DMSI helping me or just hiding things from me? Was it making me ignorant of the way I am? If it was, going back on it isn't a solution at all.
It's like people played "lets make Sarge THINK he's attractive!" while never being attracted to me at all.
I never thought I'd be so confused. After getting into sales I thought I was making some real progress in my life, then this year came along and took the rug out from under me. I also have no idea what to work on first. I've been trying to work on my social skills, but I think that's made me more beta than anything.
ION, shovelled my landlord's sidewalk (first time I've done it since moving here 5 years ago). I figured I owed himj one for the food and replacing my battery for me. I REALLY don't want to be a POS leech.
While shovelling, the neighbour woman came out of her house to the car and said hi. I said how are you, she said fine, how are you? I said pretty good thank you. and that was that.
Made me realize MOST interactions with women simply happen because you are THERE at the time, and most interactions are simply social niceties.
Right away I could tell attraction was down. The first girl (big tit arab) seemed friendly but less enthused to talk to me. Even saying "thank you" to her for telling me my hairdresser would be out shortly felt beta and chasing. I also "pecked" (quick lean-in) when I said it. *facepalm*
Hair dresser was out promptly. No delays this time.
Not much EC held between us. I notice I'm not holding EC very well. In fact, I'm very avoidant in my EC until some times when I just make it effortlessly.
When getting my hair cut, I made her laugh a few times but mostly she was complaining to me about her sons living with her. She said "The sex wasn't worth it"
then we switched topics onto a trip she took to a neighbouring city. She mentioned a guy texted her to come over. She never said if she did but it was heavily implied. She was like "He's a sexy firefighter. He's hot... REALLY hot." then she denied doing anything (I didn't ask, she just went "but nah, we didn't do anything etc") and started qualifying the guy to me "he's done well for himself. He's a chief now, etc etc"
I was all like "right on, good for him" (I used to do that with girls, pump up their BF while they told me about him and it seemed to work) but honestly, right now I just feel like I'm in AFC land. Worse than AFC actually.
When we were up at the front paying, my HD dropped something. Perfect opportunity to give a butt display, but she did not. Also, she said her goodbyes and left before done which has NEVER happened.
I wonder how much DMSI blinded me to how I was, because if my "leaning in" behavior and stuff was always there, that could explain a lot of things. I think maybe DMSI just made me not care.
HOWEVER, because of these recent developments I'm thinking of going back on DMSI to get back the attraction that seemed to be there. but now I'm completely confused.
Was DMSI helping me or just hiding things from me? Was it making me ignorant of the way I am? If it was, going back on it isn't a solution at all.
It's like people played "lets make Sarge THINK he's attractive!" while never being attracted to me at all.
I never thought I'd be so confused. After getting into sales I thought I was making some real progress in my life, then this year came along and took the rug out from under me. I also have no idea what to work on first. I've been trying to work on my social skills, but I think that's made me more beta than anything.
ION, shovelled my landlord's sidewalk (first time I've done it since moving here 5 years ago). I figured I owed himj one for the food and replacing my battery for me. I REALLY don't want to be a POS leech.
While shovelling, the neighbour woman came out of her house to the car and said hi. I said how are you, she said fine, how are you? I said pretty good thank you. and that was that.
Made me realize MOST interactions with women simply happen because you are THERE at the time, and most interactions are simply social niceties.
