In this for the healing DMSI v3.1 A

[mat422]

hi man, i wanted to say that i see a lot of growth in your last post!
i know that you will only grow from here on out.

Cheers

Thanks for dropping by. It helps a lot when I can get some outside perspective on things.

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So I'm back up to 4 loops. After a week of 3 I decided I could go to 4 with no real consequences.

So I'm at a point where I've realized I haven't actually been facing my emotional damage. DMSI has been pushing me towards it more and more. As of right now I find myself consistently executing the instructions to heal and it's pretty unpleasant. Feels like I'm getting in touch with a side of myself I didn't even know I had. I've been pretty numb for years now and I haven't even realized it, I guess that's how bad things have gotten for me. It feels like a combination of fear, worthlessness, hopelessness, and anger all at once. It feels paralyzing.

This is huge progress for me. Just coming to terms I might be struggling with more emotional pain than I let on and finally healing it instead of sweeping it under the rug. I've been numb for years now and I didn't even realize it. Still a lot of growth to be had here. In fact I think these past few weeks I haven't been healing at all and I've just been resisting it completely.