At this point I'm just using my journal to vent and I don't think it's of use to anyone especially Shannon since he is MIA. I'm about to get into one of those 7 year cycles myself soon, something about Saturn returning yada-yada-yada. I'll just charge up my chakras and meditate using Vedic mantras of the Sun to overpower it. That's what I've been taught.
At the moment though I'm feeling real fucking apathetic. So depressed, so aimless, so... I'm starting to think certain parts of the planet have depressed geomagnetic energy and you feel down just being there, like where I am. Yeah, pretty sure that's why this area sucks.
"It was the best of times and the worst of times..." is how a long book began, either A Tale of Two Cities or War and Peace. I don't really care which. Living in the modern world is torture, so many tempting females everywhere I go but they all appear so self-absorbed into their phones and egoistic world or with their family. So much convenience and whatever rare substance I desire delivered to me but no one to share it with. Oh, well... Girls get cock delivered to their doorstep with Tinder nowadays and I won't denigrate myself by using it so maybe that's why I'm at a loss.
I get triggered whenever I go out. I'm like a sex starved manimal. I don't even know WTF is going on and what these females are being fed. Not really. I know all these gigantic asses are the result of growth hormones in food and yeah I fully support that, even though I'm not getting any of that. I need to turn into a full on sexual predator but I don't have the balls. What's limiting me? Why can't I just act on my urges? Too inhibited.
Friendly conversation or flirting? Forget about it. Whenever I walk past a hot female when I'm out shopping, all I can do is raise my eyebrows or smirk at them. Now I'm starting to say put downs as I walk by, like I was walking by some line for a pharmacy and thought out loud "this is where all the sick people are". This was after I noticed a nurse chick wearing scrubs in that line giving me IOI's. They flipped their hair or stared at me at a distance, but when I got closer looked down or into their phones. WTF? I will not be invalidated like that. They can go get their pills and poisonous flu shots then, fuck 'em. That's what happens when a guy is subtly rejected too often, I've gone off the deep end into apathy. Not my choice.
Maybe AM6 is scaring people too much, like now when I drive by my neighbors house the girls who live there always run inside if they are out playing. Lots of women hastily walk past me and say "excuse me" all timid like. Some plain girls have been attracted to me and stare at me expectantly or act helpfully, but I don't have nowhere near the confidence to initiate anything with them. Actually they were probably just doing that because that's their job who the fuck am I kidding.
I started listening to The Myth of Male Power in a my car today, which proves through statistics than men are pretty much women's disposable slaves at this point in society. My life is closer to a privileged female, since I live a relatively cushioned life with plenty of spending. So perhaps me not being in a relationship is actually a blessing, since I am not a male slave with obligations to a female master. Eh, that's probably bullshit. Everything is bullshit. The meek shall inherit the Earth better be true because I'm also meek as hell. Nothing feels worth it.
I did finally get the motivation to have a guy come install a well pump for me so at least I'll have some clean water once the bombs drop and WW3 kicks off. Maybe that will change things and stop making women be so worthless. Will women actually pursue me then? LOL fuck off. I'm rather antisocial if you didn't notice.
30 year virgin wizard here I come (prostitutes don't count).
At the moment though I'm feeling real fucking apathetic. So depressed, so aimless, so... I'm starting to think certain parts of the planet have depressed geomagnetic energy and you feel down just being there, like where I am. Yeah, pretty sure that's why this area sucks.
"It was the best of times and the worst of times..." is how a long book began, either A Tale of Two Cities or War and Peace. I don't really care which. Living in the modern world is torture, so many tempting females everywhere I go but they all appear so self-absorbed into their phones and egoistic world or with their family. So much convenience and whatever rare substance I desire delivered to me but no one to share it with. Oh, well... Girls get cock delivered to their doorstep with Tinder nowadays and I won't denigrate myself by using it so maybe that's why I'm at a loss.
I get triggered whenever I go out. I'm like a sex starved manimal. I don't even know WTF is going on and what these females are being fed. Not really. I know all these gigantic asses are the result of growth hormones in food and yeah I fully support that, even though I'm not getting any of that. I need to turn into a full on sexual predator but I don't have the balls. What's limiting me? Why can't I just act on my urges? Too inhibited.
Friendly conversation or flirting? Forget about it. Whenever I walk past a hot female when I'm out shopping, all I can do is raise my eyebrows or smirk at them. Now I'm starting to say put downs as I walk by, like I was walking by some line for a pharmacy and thought out loud "this is where all the sick people are". This was after I noticed a nurse chick wearing scrubs in that line giving me IOI's. They flipped their hair or stared at me at a distance, but when I got closer looked down or into their phones. WTF? I will not be invalidated like that. They can go get their pills and poisonous flu shots then, fuck 'em. That's what happens when a guy is subtly rejected too often, I've gone off the deep end into apathy. Not my choice.
Maybe AM6 is scaring people too much, like now when I drive by my neighbors house the girls who live there always run inside if they are out playing. Lots of women hastily walk past me and say "excuse me" all timid like. Some plain girls have been attracted to me and stare at me expectantly or act helpfully, but I don't have nowhere near the confidence to initiate anything with them. Actually they were probably just doing that because that's their job who the fuck am I kidding.
I started listening to The Myth of Male Power in a my car today, which proves through statistics than men are pretty much women's disposable slaves at this point in society. My life is closer to a privileged female, since I live a relatively cushioned life with plenty of spending. So perhaps me not being in a relationship is actually a blessing, since I am not a male slave with obligations to a female master. Eh, that's probably bullshit. Everything is bullshit. The meek shall inherit the Earth better be true because I'm also meek as hell. Nothing feels worth it.
I did finally get the motivation to have a guy come install a well pump for me so at least I'll have some clean water once the bombs drop and WW3 kicks off. Maybe that will change things and stop making women be so worthless. Will women actually pursue me then? LOL fuck off. I'm rather antisocial if you didn't notice.
30 year virgin wizard here I come (prostitutes don't count).
