10-08-2017, 07:19 AM
The rage flowing through me right now, man the rage. I feel like a caged animal with this whole full time work routine. Wake up, eat, go to work, come home do what I want, sleep, repeat. Normally this would depress me to no end, but it seems like it's really anger that's popping up. Angry at all the people who enforce this as the standard way of living and anything outside of it is "unrealistic".
I'm also slowly taking on the mentality of not caring if people think I'm a bad worker, incompetent, or a jerk. I just don't care anymore. People are gonna think what they want to think. I'm not here to perform and dance for people like some goddamn wind up monkey. Especially women.
A lot of this is like waking up. Before I was just trying to improve myself so I could survive and I was working on stuff from within a certain model of reality. Now I just want to throw all that crap out and live outside the bounds of what I was conditioned to believe.
I know this sounds really me vs them mentality and ultimately it's my responsibility to take charge of my life. But do any of you wonder if it's really just us accidentally taking on these limiting beliefs or falling into a system that's been designed to work a certain way. Am I truly limiting myself? Or did I latch onto the beliefs from a system that encourages people to become worker drones?
I'm also slowly taking on the mentality of not caring if people think I'm a bad worker, incompetent, or a jerk. I just don't care anymore. People are gonna think what they want to think. I'm not here to perform and dance for people like some goddamn wind up monkey. Especially women.
A lot of this is like waking up. Before I was just trying to improve myself so I could survive and I was working on stuff from within a certain model of reality. Now I just want to throw all that crap out and live outside the bounds of what I was conditioned to believe.
I know this sounds really me vs them mentality and ultimately it's my responsibility to take charge of my life. But do any of you wonder if it's really just us accidentally taking on these limiting beliefs or falling into a system that's been designed to work a certain way. Am I truly limiting myself? Or did I latch onto the beliefs from a system that encourages people to become worker drones?
INFP
