JAKE'S MLS 5.5G - MENTAL GROWTH BEGINS NOW!!!!

[Jake2015]

Day 78 - Update

I am Back.

I decided to stay off the forum completely to focus on uni and my major exam that I had to pass, otherwise lose a whole year.

I passed that exam yesterday have very much stress and effort so I'm relieved.

I didn't plan on coming on today to this forum or even come on right now, but when I turned my laptop on I was settling down and thought what the hell lol even though I was going to come on eventually in the next day or so.

This update is for day 78, however I have missed days here and there of MLS and at times have had to get out of bed to go to the bathroom etc which I'm sure hasnt helped the listening protocols.

I also havent listened to MLS for the past week or 2 maybe due to the exam, which basically was a resit, which occurred throughout September and the last time yesterday - so I had to pass.

The last time I was here however I had got a lengthy post from Shannon and the basic gist I got from that was :

1) Stop stonewalling which I know I wasnt doing and doubt many here seeking the help of subs are doing.

2) Get on with study irrespective of whether the sub works or not or lose out on your life goals etc.

When I started MLS I was at home in the UK where things are shall we say rather chaotic and thus make both studying and listening to MLS pretty near impossible.

That could have seemed as stonewalling but I don't mind as only I know the predicament and circumstances of my life there.

I also knew that once I got back to university and back to my accommodation where my A2+ speakers are, I could get more of a daily routine in listening and also studying.

I was correct as there is less stopping me except for my own procrastination etc.

During the time of September upon my return, the proverbial shit had really hit the fan.

Not only did I have to pass this resit exam but I also had to continue going in to new classes and lectures for this 3rd year, meaning less time and energy to focus on anything other than my resit which I knew anyway.

I also knew that coming on to this forum daily as I was, was getting pretty pointless and boring as all i seemed to read were repetitive words about plateaus and resistance and this and that and people always asking when will the subs work and will they work or is it working.

I don't believe placebos necessarily have worked on me in other areas of my life but whether true or not I knew for certain that this sub could only work if it will work and not be a placebo for me to believe it worked. What i mean is that I wasnt going to jump up and down at the first sign it was working unless it was daily, and could be verified myself.

I also knew that there was no point coming onto the forum until I had noticed any results or chances to speak of otherwise I would simply get sucked into the chit chatter that simply acts as either a form of entertainment, hope or procrastination for me.

So this being said lets speak about september.

Upon my return I was diligent with continue my listening.

I was also studying for this retake/resit exam as best as I could.

I had wondered if this was indeed MLS at work. I wasnt working suddenly at the level of a brainiac on MLS or akin to fellow students that seem to be robotic with their discipline but I was nevertheless studying.

I had periods where I couldnt study due to mental fatigue.

My mental focus reduced considerably, so whereas I may have studied before for 25mins now I was only managing 10 or 5mins.

I know the reason for this too, as I myself realised that to avoid my procrastination its better to simply do many many short periods with 10mins break rather than so 20mins where only 5-10mins is focused and I then think I'm studying but actually wondering and looking around my laptop or room.

There were times when I wondered is this MLS. I felt maybe that I wasnt feeling anxiety during studying and thought hmmm ok this could be MLS but I know it wasnt.

I stopped listening to MLS 2 weeks ago due to my erratic sleeping schedule as I continued to fail the exam/test and thus had to put more work into it.

So conclusion, has MLS worked on me?

My answer is so far a big fat NO.

I want to explain why i say NO.

1) I have realised that all my efforts no matter how easy or hard, at sitting down to study was due to my fear of failure which always kicks in when I near a deadline and thus is due to my procrastination and a clear sign that I'm still very much a procrastinator at studying. As the importance of the exam got clearer and the fear of failing drew brighter I took more action.

2) Getting down to study when I did study was hard. Sometimes easy but otherwise hard. For me the starting has always been the issue as I have explained at the start and during this journal. Starting and getting down to work is my biggest dilemma, then I may get into a flow state. As it was hard and I knew it was hard I knew MLS wasnt working for me.

3) Focus and concentration. well this reduced to 5-10mins study with 10mins break. Basically rather than increase it reduced.

I had tried a non binaural beat focus music by a private online company claiming to increasing focus for workers/students etc of periods beyond 45mins but this wasnt my experience at all. So I knew for sure that my working was very much my grit and determination and nothing more.

4) Stonewalling well that I clearly wasnt and never have done which I always knew anyway and believe so.


Now in defence of MLS, I could say that okay I havent given it enough time, sure that is true and from what I recall 1 or many here eventually figuring out was that MLS is clearing and will be clearing for atleast a year before it kicks into the whole focus and learning and memory side of things, so that may be what its working on but its bloody slow thats for sure if it is even doing that for me.

I know that stopping here and there won't do me any favours, but 1 reason I'm here and stay here is the hope and faith I have in all the bells and whistles that are the NEW TECH being used in these subs, making them seem almost beyond 20th century however even with all this nothing has emerged to make me feel yippee about this sub as yet.

What I do know however is that I am not going to spend any more money buying any other sub (which I had decided anyway before buying MLS as MLS is the 1 sub that has to work for me..i am a long term student here on a 6 year degree after all so I have the time to focus on this), until I give MLS atleast a year but more likely 2-3years worth or listening.

Since my exam has finished and I'm officially into 3rd year ill go back to listening to MLS on a more daily regime and will pop on the forum as before as I'm less stressed now.

I know some here had spoken of dietary changes and yes before starting this sub I had stopped having sugary soda drinks and adding sugar to my beverage but this wasnt the sub, it was my doctor telling me that I am borderline/pre diabetic and need to lose my weight and reverse it or screw myself over. My subconscious clearly works at being shocked and thus this was enough to somehow stop and curb my sugar habits.

I still have chocolate biscuits/sweet biscuits as a treat but otherwise no chocolate bars etc.

I have lost some pounds (around 12-14) since May so thats something so far and this is without any other major dietary change.

other than this in summary so far MLS has done nothing for me and that is my story so far.

I havent read any journals so don't know what experience exactly others are or have had, I don't know if theres any updated information regarding MLS or anything else either.

I always felt that MLS should have been a 2 track sub. 1 for super clearing of issues and the other for then manifesting its goals and I still believe this was the better option.

I have come to realise that having 1 sub that claims to do it all, simply puts many into a false sense of hope so that as soon as they feel some anger, or start tripping out on others, or even sense some positivity they immediately assume its the sub or put the responsibility upon the sub itself.

I now believe that most of what many feel is hopelessness at when things aren't changing and thus believe its their resistance to the sub or the sub clearing some garbage out etc. I also believe that when some here get some positive result immediately they believe its the sub too.

What I now realise is that for some its quite possible that what they and I and we all feel is just normal behaviour and until a sub such as MLS can give consistent results in the long term without hitting a so called resistance stage or a plateau then we can know that that sub or these subs work.

In my case staying away from the forum and actually studying enabled me to evaluate my behaviour and the sub and I realised that I don't believe I have changed. If I have changed, lets say I am less anxious when it comes to studying and learning or that I'm more calmer etc (which I'm not) then these behavioural changes are so so subtle that its almost as if using the subtle changes from E2 is the excuse here and this sub is not E2 so results and changes shouldn't be subtle at all.

So whats my plan?

The same, I will continue with MLS and see what happens but so far nothing has happened.

1 more thing I have realised is that when studying (the act of learning is what I mean by studying in this post because all i had to do was understand and learn material for the exam - notes given to me from friends etc) is easy then it flows. When its hard its so hard you want to give up.

My advice and what I have learned is that when that happens you reduce your time so that when you study you only spend short periods with breaks at it and it works for me.

thanks for reading.