(09-30-2017, 12:59 PM)kalmah0804 Wrote: Have you ever taken any medication for anxiety or been diagnosed as potentially having an anxiety disorder? What happened/is still happening to you sounds a lot like what happened to me, but taking a break from subs and getting real medical treatment for my anxiety helped bring back my mental clarity and made me feel like I was a real, normal person again. I also think perhaps you might have some buried trauma that is "triggering" this high state of agitation and you may benefit from other forms of mental health treatment.
This is just from my own personal experiences, but your symptoms you had several months ago were the exact same ones that I was having back then too, and now I am doing worlds and leagues beyond better and am continuing to improve with each passing day.
Hi Kalmah,
Nope, no medications. Right now I feel I have passed over a threshold in my recovery from depression with good progress every day, but it could probably have been a good idea to try out some meds before when I was deep into the valley to make my days go by a bit easier. I got to the conclusion that I would try to get better the "natural way" which was why I cut out subliminals, also because they made me very mentally tense, but I hope to be able to give them a new try when I have recovered as I have hope for them being a good additional tool for self-improvement.
Love to hear it (that you are getting better every day, I have had the same feeling for a while now), it's almost hard to believe that you are getting better after having been in a place where "better" was so off the map and you thought that you would stay in that hell for ever (at least that is how I felt for a very long time). But finally the clouds are starting to clear somewhat and I'm starting to get a grip around my life again.
:arrow:
Today I baked a cake (woho, haha) and that's some kind of achievement, you know just doing something and accomplishing it, all by yourself. Even though some things made me irritated and upset when not going as planned, the feeling of being done afterwards is nice. Also have been starting to work a bit in a small company, really interesting with a super nice guy as a boss. I have a good feeling about it. I have good ability to decide of how much I work which is suiting my current situation very much.
I have noticed that what I have problem is to stay focused, then I get anxious and stressed. Social interactions are still hard (with particular people, so maybe it's not that bad as it sounds), and feels unnatural sometimes. I feel that some people are tiring to hang out with, people who want to control things, and control how I act (or at least it feels like they want to), again I am probably exaggerating.
But I am getting more in line with myself again. Calmer and more relaxed, even though I don't feel quiet as myself, but on a good way there. I am sleeping way better, and I have started to enjoy meditation, which previously was just a dread 30 minutes of feeling like shit and being exhausted afterwards (I have meditated around 130 days in a row now, around 30 minutes every time). I have also stayed committed to the "wim hof" breathing ritual every morning followed with doing some cold showers after my initial morning-shower (in warm water). It feels like it have helped me to improve my breathing and release tensions around my torso, making me feel more loosened up and also with some additional energy that I was lacking before. Same thing here, first 5 weeks I felt like shit, even more socially anxious and tired, but now it seems to have turned and make me feel better by doing it.
My psychologist called today and I just felt anxious talking to her, as I have been when meeting her every time. I don't know why, but I just feel anxious talking to her. Shouldn't be that way, so I won't go to her anymore, but probably look for someone else that it feels natural to talk to. It's just to tiring to go talk to her.
Noticed that I can get EXTREMELLY irritated at small things, as when my dad was sitting eating a piece of chocolate with crunchy bits inside of it when we watched a movie, I almost jumped out of the window. That is not like me, but must be a result of tense nerves or something like that.
My relationships with my parents feel off and unnatural for some reason. They feel that I am not "as usual" and that make them insecure about the relationship (I'm guessing here). I trust that it will solve itself over time, but it can also be frustrating in the moment. My dad is overall relaxed which feels good, but my mom usually blow things out of proportion, worry a lot and have the need to control things around her which at this time take much energy from me.
Tomorrow going to a b-day party for a friend. Looking forward to it! Go out, have some drinks, enjoy some music, dance and just blow some steam off (I hope). Now I'm out for a evening run.
Edit:
As I was leaving the computer I though of an explanation that fits well with how I feel - I have low levels of "social energy". It takes so much out from me. I am not socially incompetent, I have previously had an easy time to socialize with different kind of people, good sense of humor, love to laugh, etc. But right now it's not fully there. But it will
Quote:As I am doing a break from subliminals, maybe someone is interested in what I am doing instead, for that person:
- Wim-Hof breathing and cold showers - Every morning
- Meditation - Every evening 30 minutes
- Trauma releasing exercises - Every day for 15 minutes
- Running - Around 3 times a week, 20-40 minutes
- Relaxation exercises - Every morning (google kegels and reverse kegels) 4*25
