02-01-2012, 09:33 PM
Things have been strange these past few days to say the least. I'm not sure if it's alpha or disconnect from the negativity within making me feel this way. It could be a combination of both. Some days I'll be really good, productive, and have such a positive outlook. Then there are some other days where I just feel like a dark cloud just hovers above my head all day and I feel weighed down with emotions.
I can usually tell what kind of day it's going to be when I wake up in the morning. I dread the days where I feel bad because it makes it hard to focus on a lot of my college work. I feel like the disconnect from negativity within sub just pulls up all this stuff when I'm sleeping and I just get hit with it all at once when I wake up.
It's really intense and I don't know what to do sometimes. I feel like I should be able to easily disconnect from these emotions, but I also feel like I have to go through a kind of purge before they leave. I also try to not let things get to me, but sometimes I can't handle it and the negativity gets overwhelming.
I guess it's because I keep thinking I should be consciously doing something to disconnect from the emotions or pain, when it is really all up to my subconscious mind. After the purge I usually get some insight and it's like I can see more clearly. But during the purging of negativity I feel so helpless and see things in a distorted kind of way.
Also I've been away from the forum for a while. Going back to college is a little stressful and now that I'm nearing the end I have to start looking into finding a job or internship somewhere. I haven't had much energy for my own hobbies, let alone visiting this forum. I've just had this sense of impending doom that I have trouble shaking that puts a lot of stress on me.
I can usually tell what kind of day it's going to be when I wake up in the morning. I dread the days where I feel bad because it makes it hard to focus on a lot of my college work. I feel like the disconnect from negativity within sub just pulls up all this stuff when I'm sleeping and I just get hit with it all at once when I wake up.
It's really intense and I don't know what to do sometimes. I feel like I should be able to easily disconnect from these emotions, but I also feel like I have to go through a kind of purge before they leave. I also try to not let things get to me, but sometimes I can't handle it and the negativity gets overwhelming.
I guess it's because I keep thinking I should be consciously doing something to disconnect from the emotions or pain, when it is really all up to my subconscious mind. After the purge I usually get some insight and it's like I can see more clearly. But during the purging of negativity I feel so helpless and see things in a distorted kind of way.
Also I've been away from the forum for a while. Going back to college is a little stressful and now that I'm nearing the end I have to start looking into finding a job or internship somewhere. I haven't had much energy for my own hobbies, let alone visiting this forum. I've just had this sense of impending doom that I have trouble shaking that puts a lot of stress on me.
