Day 46
Currently listening to: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y3BlPGoeHkg
September is officially underway for me. I spend every year counting down the days until September ends. This year doesn't feel any different.
46 days into MLS, and I feel a lot of changes happening. The more time I spend on MLS, the more I realize it really is what you want it to be, and what you do on the sub ultimately shifts you into who you want to become.
And I think that's the hardest thing about this sub, at least for me, as I keep running on it. I know who I want to be, the sub is gearing me towards that end goal, but who I want to be is such a departure from who I currently am, there is this lingering internal fight going on.
That's the hardest part of change. Growth is a painful process. Sometimes frightening. This feeling becomes more pronounced the older I get. Time is the one thing that eludes everyone - when you pick a road, it ultimately comes with several types of sacrifices. You change, the world around you changes. And as it is with most decisions, you don't know what the result of your choices are until you look back. Hence, the old cliche, in hindsight it's always 20/20.
I've been focused on work fiercely as of late, and I don't regret that. Things between K and I have cooled off significantly since I stopped using DMSI, and I don't regret that either.
I want to achieve the goals I've set for myself within the next 4 and a half years, slightly before I turn 46. Of course, by the time I reach those goals, I'll probably have another set of goals lined up.
This journal has become more esoteric and philosophical in nature, than my DMSI journals, primarily because MLS is focused more on the work that I am doing and it's very much an internal drive. The successes that I reach from MLS obviously manifest into my professional life, and that becomes difficult to write about for me. Primarily because of the anonymity that I enjoy by being a poster.
However, I do want this journal to be beneficial to the community as a whole, and provide the members of this forum some insight as to what is and isn't possible using MLS, at least as it pertains to me.
As I stated at the beginning of this post, MLS will drive you towards whatever goal you set for yourself. You have to be clear on what it is you want, because once you give it a direction, it becomes the Bugatti of transformation and achievement. It'll take you there in Ludicrous speed (spaceballs reference, not a Tesla reference), bathed in absolute comfort and luxury.
So what are the concrete examples of that in my own life.
One of my goals is to be financially wealthy; not for the sake of the money itself, but specifically what the money allows me to do. While on MLS I have been writing out a grand design for who I want to become.
To be fair, a lot of this pull came while I was still on DMSI, and in my 3.1 Journal, I wrote several times how I want to be free and able to work from anywhere in the world. How I wanted to be on the road again all of the time.
Some of that is starting to manifest itself into my life now. I took it a step further about 12 days ago when I created a Mind Movie for myself, of everything that I wanted. It was 14 minutes, and hundreds of photos that I scoured and found of things that I wanted, including women, and created a video. Images change every two seconds. Some of the pictures are repeated for maximum effect. No words, no music. I listen to my loops and press play on the film.
About two weeks ago I also took on an executive position in a mid-sized financial firm; they manage over 100 billion in assets. The talks for that position started about a week after I started MLS. The position may have been a mixture of both DMSI and MLS. Hence, I think the two subs are synchronistic in many ways. When 3.2 or DMSI final comes out, I think I'll be able to confirm how accurate my assumptions are.
Last week, one of the two startups that I am a partner in, closed 6 million in Series A financing. While I was on DMSI, we had closed an 800k seed run. This particular startup is a biotech firm, so it'll be a few years, and a lot more funding, before the firm can be considered a success or the product does what we think it will.
That being said, it's been an amazing journey, one that I started not long after I began DMSI and continue with MLS.
The other startup is based on Machine Learning and AI. A trending topic right now, but that firm is primarily focused on technology creation. The goal isn't to make a viable product for consumers, rather to be acquired by a larger tech company and have them integrate the technology.
A longer term goal for me, while on MLS, is to start a Hedge Fund. I've been working with a few friends who are physicists and programmers to build a new trading platform for market analysis. This is a recent occurrence that is still heavily in the planning stages and will depend greatly on how things turn out with a neural network platform that we have been prototyping.
Beyond these things, I have dreams where I am working, planning, and optimizing the key areas I need to focus on. I literally have had work like dreams a few nights a week over the past two weeks. And when it's not related to work, the dreams tend to be highly sexual in nature. Sometimes I get a double whammy of both in a single night.
My confidence is at another level, completely different from what it was while I was on DMSI. Most days I don't feel any kind of emotion at all - I'm just very level set. Other times I will get fits of rage, but most of that is related to personal interactions where people close to me say something absolutely stupid to me. That tends to subside and I go back to this non-emotional state.
I shouldn't say I'm not emotional, that isn't correct. I'm very even keeled. That's more accurate. I'm not apathetic, I am optimized. My energy doesn't like to be used up in situations that require a lot of emotional interaction. That gets draining for me, especially when I know or feel I know, what's going to come next. Talking for the sake of talking isn't really my thing these days.
That's not to say that I wouldn't help someone who is asking for advice. That's different. But there are just people, mostly women I know to be honest, that just want to talk for the sake of talking. They aren't interested in a solution, they just need to get something off their chest. Those interactions get really draining for me.
This might be why I don't deal with many women these days. I'm stretched thin as it is.
I'm also becoming more careful of what I watch on my downtime. Again, MLS absorbs a lot of information. Case in point, I watched Narcos Season 3 - it wasn't as good as the first two seasons - but as I watch it, I find myself monitoring the behavior and ultimate downfall based on the decisions the Cali Cartel leaders made. I then begin to think about how I would do it differently if I ran a criminal enterprise. At some point all this thought was leading me down a slippery slope and I seriously had to take a step back.
This again, is the power of MLS. It will take you wherever you go, so whatever you feel or notice more of yourself, the more amplified those characteristics of yourself become. This is both your positive or negative characteristics.
This is why I have that grand design document. I read that everyday, to keep me focused on my long term goal. The mind movie also keeps me focused. It helps reinforce the things that I want. It keeps my mind on track.
I'm only 46 days into MLS now. Shannon mentioned that to get the full benefit of MLS, you need to be on it for at least a year, and I realize how true his words are. MLS isn't a quick fix. 46 days in, I feel like I just got in the car and buckled up. I haven't even started the engine yet, let alone left the parking lot and got on the track.
It will take time. It requires a focus on your goals. It requires constant feedback on the direction you want to go. More importantly, it requires patience with yourself as you go through the different phases.
Stepping into MLS, I feel like I'm in the pupa stage right now, and will be for many more months to come. The question I battle with myself is, do I give myself 6 months on this before switching to a 3 month run of DMSI, or do I stay the year.
It's a serious question with a serious debate that I don't have an answer for currently.
Thankfully, it's not a question I need to answer today.
_________________________________________________________________________________________________________
Post Edited to articulate some of my thoughts and correct some of my statements. I usually don't proof before I post, and tend to read after I post to edit - this way I make sure I get my thoughts out. Otherwise, I sometimes will not post what it is that I wanted to say, and that works against me.
Currently listening to: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Y3BlPGoeHkg
September is officially underway for me. I spend every year counting down the days until September ends. This year doesn't feel any different.
46 days into MLS, and I feel a lot of changes happening. The more time I spend on MLS, the more I realize it really is what you want it to be, and what you do on the sub ultimately shifts you into who you want to become.
And I think that's the hardest thing about this sub, at least for me, as I keep running on it. I know who I want to be, the sub is gearing me towards that end goal, but who I want to be is such a departure from who I currently am, there is this lingering internal fight going on.
That's the hardest part of change. Growth is a painful process. Sometimes frightening. This feeling becomes more pronounced the older I get. Time is the one thing that eludes everyone - when you pick a road, it ultimately comes with several types of sacrifices. You change, the world around you changes. And as it is with most decisions, you don't know what the result of your choices are until you look back. Hence, the old cliche, in hindsight it's always 20/20.
I've been focused on work fiercely as of late, and I don't regret that. Things between K and I have cooled off significantly since I stopped using DMSI, and I don't regret that either.
I want to achieve the goals I've set for myself within the next 4 and a half years, slightly before I turn 46. Of course, by the time I reach those goals, I'll probably have another set of goals lined up.
This journal has become more esoteric and philosophical in nature, than my DMSI journals, primarily because MLS is focused more on the work that I am doing and it's very much an internal drive. The successes that I reach from MLS obviously manifest into my professional life, and that becomes difficult to write about for me. Primarily because of the anonymity that I enjoy by being a poster.
However, I do want this journal to be beneficial to the community as a whole, and provide the members of this forum some insight as to what is and isn't possible using MLS, at least as it pertains to me.
As I stated at the beginning of this post, MLS will drive you towards whatever goal you set for yourself. You have to be clear on what it is you want, because once you give it a direction, it becomes the Bugatti of transformation and achievement. It'll take you there in Ludicrous speed (spaceballs reference, not a Tesla reference), bathed in absolute comfort and luxury.
So what are the concrete examples of that in my own life.
One of my goals is to be financially wealthy; not for the sake of the money itself, but specifically what the money allows me to do. While on MLS I have been writing out a grand design for who I want to become.
To be fair, a lot of this pull came while I was still on DMSI, and in my 3.1 Journal, I wrote several times how I want to be free and able to work from anywhere in the world. How I wanted to be on the road again all of the time.
Some of that is starting to manifest itself into my life now. I took it a step further about 12 days ago when I created a Mind Movie for myself, of everything that I wanted. It was 14 minutes, and hundreds of photos that I scoured and found of things that I wanted, including women, and created a video. Images change every two seconds. Some of the pictures are repeated for maximum effect. No words, no music. I listen to my loops and press play on the film.
About two weeks ago I also took on an executive position in a mid-sized financial firm; they manage over 100 billion in assets. The talks for that position started about a week after I started MLS. The position may have been a mixture of both DMSI and MLS. Hence, I think the two subs are synchronistic in many ways. When 3.2 or DMSI final comes out, I think I'll be able to confirm how accurate my assumptions are.
Last week, one of the two startups that I am a partner in, closed 6 million in Series A financing. While I was on DMSI, we had closed an 800k seed run. This particular startup is a biotech firm, so it'll be a few years, and a lot more funding, before the firm can be considered a success or the product does what we think it will.
That being said, it's been an amazing journey, one that I started not long after I began DMSI and continue with MLS.
The other startup is based on Machine Learning and AI. A trending topic right now, but that firm is primarily focused on technology creation. The goal isn't to make a viable product for consumers, rather to be acquired by a larger tech company and have them integrate the technology.
A longer term goal for me, while on MLS, is to start a Hedge Fund. I've been working with a few friends who are physicists and programmers to build a new trading platform for market analysis. This is a recent occurrence that is still heavily in the planning stages and will depend greatly on how things turn out with a neural network platform that we have been prototyping.
Beyond these things, I have dreams where I am working, planning, and optimizing the key areas I need to focus on. I literally have had work like dreams a few nights a week over the past two weeks. And when it's not related to work, the dreams tend to be highly sexual in nature. Sometimes I get a double whammy of both in a single night.
My confidence is at another level, completely different from what it was while I was on DMSI. Most days I don't feel any kind of emotion at all - I'm just very level set. Other times I will get fits of rage, but most of that is related to personal interactions where people close to me say something absolutely stupid to me. That tends to subside and I go back to this non-emotional state.
I shouldn't say I'm not emotional, that isn't correct. I'm very even keeled. That's more accurate. I'm not apathetic, I am optimized. My energy doesn't like to be used up in situations that require a lot of emotional interaction. That gets draining for me, especially when I know or feel I know, what's going to come next. Talking for the sake of talking isn't really my thing these days.
That's not to say that I wouldn't help someone who is asking for advice. That's different. But there are just people, mostly women I know to be honest, that just want to talk for the sake of talking. They aren't interested in a solution, they just need to get something off their chest. Those interactions get really draining for me.
This might be why I don't deal with many women these days. I'm stretched thin as it is.
I'm also becoming more careful of what I watch on my downtime. Again, MLS absorbs a lot of information. Case in point, I watched Narcos Season 3 - it wasn't as good as the first two seasons - but as I watch it, I find myself monitoring the behavior and ultimate downfall based on the decisions the Cali Cartel leaders made. I then begin to think about how I would do it differently if I ran a criminal enterprise. At some point all this thought was leading me down a slippery slope and I seriously had to take a step back.
This again, is the power of MLS. It will take you wherever you go, so whatever you feel or notice more of yourself, the more amplified those characteristics of yourself become. This is both your positive or negative characteristics.
This is why I have that grand design document. I read that everyday, to keep me focused on my long term goal. The mind movie also keeps me focused. It helps reinforce the things that I want. It keeps my mind on track.
I'm only 46 days into MLS now. Shannon mentioned that to get the full benefit of MLS, you need to be on it for at least a year, and I realize how true his words are. MLS isn't a quick fix. 46 days in, I feel like I just got in the car and buckled up. I haven't even started the engine yet, let alone left the parking lot and got on the track.
It will take time. It requires a focus on your goals. It requires constant feedback on the direction you want to go. More importantly, it requires patience with yourself as you go through the different phases.
Stepping into MLS, I feel like I'm in the pupa stage right now, and will be for many more months to come. The question I battle with myself is, do I give myself 6 months on this before switching to a 3 month run of DMSI, or do I stay the year.
It's a serious question with a serious debate that I don't have an answer for currently.
Thankfully, it's not a question I need to answer today.
_________________________________________________________________________________________________________
Post Edited to articulate some of my thoughts and correct some of my statements. I usually don't proof before I post, and tend to read after I post to edit - this way I make sure I get my thoughts out. Otherwise, I sometimes will not post what it is that I wanted to say, and that works against me.
