09-04-2017, 08:30 AM
(09-04-2017, 08:16 AM)findingme Wrote: I have been using E2 again for emotional reasons, and I'm seeking some guidance.
I've been divorced 3 years, and I've dated or sought out noone at all. I am seeing I've been a relational anorexic with women, and that is my focus here. I work with men, I don't make much money, but since I grew up with brothers, so it's much more enjoyable.
I used E2 for 4 months straight, I've used other situational subs (organizing, procrastination, etc), but the issue of fear of women has been rising again, and it's associated with a fear of failing--leading to a fear of trying.
I've considered DMSI due to the clearings, yet I've not felt confident at all since its focus is sex, not relationships.
I will share here honestly to clarify my conflict. With my wife, I'd regularly revert to a kid when with her sexually, and it locked me up emotionally. I'd perform, but I detested the feeling of being with "mom". My own mom didn't do sexual abuse, but was heavily into emotional incest. Another story that is, but it's affected all relationships with women, like they "could be mom". I picked up E2 to heal it, and it's helped me--though I'm still "performing" around all females. Like I'm on stage, feeling like a small child. So, I regularly keep away from females due to that, even peers. It's psychologically and emotionally conflicting. I resort to thinking and acting helpless, playing a victim or playing "roles", and shame and embarrassment follow. I don't pursue women due to that. Sh**, I admitted it!
I just read up on Ultimate Detox, it has emotional and mental focuses, and since it uses a similar base (US, LM, etc.), plus it's run in much shorter session lengths. I'm considering UD for the clearings, and I'd like some input on this.
Am I overlooking something obvious? (Would DMSI help???)
Just sharing I'm not sure which way to go. Thanks for hearing me out.
Yes, DMSI would help. It is *the* strongest healing & clearing sub in the shop. It's also more of a "forced march," whereas E2 is "at your own pace."
It's not an easy ride, but it is totally worth the effort. If *any* of your issues are related to women and/or sexuality, it will help you immensely. I've had benefits in all areas of my life. It frees you up where you've been bogged down. Don't let "it's about sex" give you any misconception about how much it can improve your relationships with people in general. In fact, more of us using DMSI are healing areas of our lives in many helpful ways, than experiencing the goal of being seduced by the sex you're attracted to.
That being said, I think Universal Detox would also be amazing. I'd love to run that sub right now, but the benefits from DMSI just keep on coming for me (6 months on V3.1 so far). I gotta keep running it.
