E2 seems scary, honestly

[Shannon]

A side effects of the sub is that it tore down all the goals I have that are other people's goals and now I am aimless because the life I wanted wasn't the life I truly wanted but others dreams. Also my identity has been thrown out the window and I don't know who am I and what is my purpose.

A direct effect of this sub is that it raises you past being a slave to other people's goals. If you created your whole life and identity based on that, then you're going to have to go through a dismantling of, and regeneration of those things in a healthy direction.

Also Tons, I mean tons and Tons of DARK.... Thoughts. That Positive thinking Positive attitude has had the opposite effect.

PTPA works fine. Right now, you are clearing, purging, healing and processing things that have so far held you down and been a toxic influence on you and your life. This process includes dealing with and releasing them. PTPA will kick in when this process is finished. Otherwise you're just putting a band aid on the issue instead of lancing the boil.