In this for the healing DMSI v3.1 A

[SargeMaximus]

Been a while since I've done one of these, but here goes. Just need to get some stuff off my chest and vent a little.

As I found myself reading the shadow work book I thought about the millions of other books on the market. I've thought about the books I've read. I've thought about the people's lives who miraculously changed. And I thought about my life that stayed the same and probably thousands of others who didn't get results. So it makes me think some of these people think they know more than they actually do. I thought about all the people out there in the world who can barely do their own jobs, but are somewhat delusional in how excellent they are. Then it got me thinking I'm sure the same exists in the self help community. Then I realized it's like the blind leading the blind.

This is something I've been wrestling with lately. How people don't know much, but they say they do. I guess it's a self-esteem "maintanence" behavior, or pride, or saving face, but it's true: most people know shit.

And, advise given to your unique situation can't possibly cover everything. Because only you know you.

So I take it all with a grain of salt, and go with what works.

More and more I'm trying to focus on getting results, not on "doing the right thing". What gets results IS the right thing, but there are many ways to get results. Some better than others.

It's a fine line. Like I've said before, sometimes we have defense mechanism that aren't readily apparent to us. So in my case I can have a tendency to dismiss stuff or think I know better when I don't. It all seems like one big crapshoot at times. It's the most frustrating thing for me. It seems like I'm so open minded I believe everything or I'm so closed off I stick to my narrow perspective. Black and white thinking. My mind has so many twist and turns to it I don't know what to believe anymore.

Lol, tell me about it. This is me to a "T"

The crazy thing is, how does anybody get good at anything except repeatedly coming to the same conclusion or getting the same results? So if being open minded is a good thing, then experts are very narrow-minded. If you get my drift.

Yeah I hear you. This kind of goes onto the objective vs subjective truth philosophical discussion. For every person thinking they have some objective fact about how the world works, another refutes it and at the same time demonstrates how it isn't true. The only thing I can really say is that people have their own internal belief structures and models of reality. At any point we are operating out of some kind of belief structure. Some people stay within it and some people venture out of it. I guess it all depends what you personally want to do. Get lots of success being an asshole? Ok. Get lots of success being a good person? Also ok. It just seems like it's more about the intent and power behind the individual rather than their actions or methods. So maybe it's a case of opening the mind and expanding possibilities then choosing whatever you want. So we shift from open mindedness to narrow mindedness, it's like a constantly fluctuating state rather than a static one.

Hmm, very interesting thoughts you have matt.

As far as "objective vs. subjective truth": I'm more or less of the opinion that results in the external world are the objective reality. That's how I got so good at sales, simply studying the effects I was having and tweaking my approach.

Eventually, one can come into harmony with "the way things are".

Interestingly, now that I'm entertaining other schools of thought, my results have all but evaporated, but that is besides the point.

I would say there are multiple ways of doing things, but unless they yield results externally, they are not worth keeping. SO yes, asshole vs. "good guy" can work, but only if they DO work, in which case you choose which you resonate with most.

HOWEVER, if one works and one doesn't, you have your clear winner, while if neither works, you are missing the key element that DOES work.

In any case, what DOES work is the objective reality. IMO.

The other side of it is emotional impact. If you have STRONG emotions (whether they be good or bad) you will see effects ripple in the outside world, while if you do not or are in a state of confusion or apathy, things will be ghosting you (results themselves will ghost you, this is what is happening to me in sales ATM).

Despite getting an app yesterday. I got that app while I was very nervous (strong emotion). Once I got it, the nervousness subsided and I got nothing further. Coincidence? Hard to say, N=1 after all, However the flip side is not considered in that I could at one time get apps in sales on command.

But I don't want to talk about my sales woes, I'm simply trying to identify the "it" factor.

Everywhere you look, 20% of the effort yields 80% of the results.

And so, perhaps learning about some things are simply learning about the other 80% that yields only 20% (like learning body language. I'm pretty much convinced knowing BL is useless unless you need to know it to make money, which I don't in my profession, because I made money for years without knowing anything about it.), which is why they never seem to improve anything all that much, while if you find the "it" factor, you've found the 20% that yields 80%

So I suppose you have to know what is needed to get the results you want, and this is done by knowing what your outcome is, and knowing if you are getting closer or farther away from that outcome and what needs to be done to achieve it.

Having said that, thinking about it really does my head in so I'd imagine a lot of people just don't even bother thinking of things in these terms. Fear seems like it would lead people to gravitate towards what they know and are familiar with rather than venture outside of that. When you have a sort of roadmap to life things seem easier or more stable. But when you get rid of that roadmap it's kind of like flying blind.

This got longer than I expected lol. Anyway, yeah. It's not an easy question that's for damn sure.

No, it definitely isn't.

And yeah, that's a good point: "But when you get rid of that roadmap it's kind of like flying blind. " which is what can happen when learning new ways of doing things.