07-13-2017, 05:25 PM
(07-13-2017, 11:07 AM)kalmah0804 Wrote:(07-13-2017, 11:03 AM)mat422 Wrote:(07-13-2017, 11:00 AM)kalmah0804 Wrote:(07-13-2017, 10:56 AM)mat422 Wrote:(07-13-2017, 08:41 AM)kalmah0804 Wrote: This post cut through me like a knife. Turning 26 soon also and I feel like my whole life I've been too ***** up inside to move forward and accomplish or achieve anything.
Wish I knew or could show you how to get out of it. I read a lot about other people dealing with similar stuff. We're not alone. Unfortunately nobody really has an answer either. I think it might be an INFP thing. It's a combination of really feeling like I don't fit in with how most of the world works/what's valued and also underestimating my own abilities and constantly fearing the worst. Put those two together and you get fear preventing yourself from moving forward but also a complete lack of motivation for striving for the thing society seems to value the most above all else, money.
I'm hoping DMSI bulldozes through this. If not I might just have to drop it and seek professional help from a hypnotherapist. I feel like this is the resistance popping up, but I don't know. It's hard to tell. It feels like these negative beliefs are being closely guarded and prevented from being removed despite all my efforts.
I will say that I grew past a lot of these feelings (especially feeling fitting in with most of the world and such) during my time on DMSI-A, although much more on 3.01 than on 3.1. If I hadn't had a complete mental breakdown and become borderline psychotic, I think I would have bulldozed through and been in a much better place. Keep on going with 3.1. Eager to see if you attain any better results than I do.
Yeah my subconscious must be scared to death right now at the inevitability of change on this sub. I read about some of the other posts on DMSI and I was like nah it wouldn't get that bad for me. But damn, the change is being pushed for and my mind really doesn't like it.
DMSI-A between 3.01 and 3.1 together pushed me to a life where I (almost) had everything I had ever wanted at the time... and then came the panic attacks, the hallucinations, the nearly-schizophrenic violent and obsessive thoughts... it was not a good combo, and while I'm not glad that I *had* to switch, I'm glad I followed my instinct and did end up switching, even if I do hopefully one day get to come back to it. It's a great sub, and so long as you don't end up where I did, I think you should be able to make tremendous progress with it.
Good to know. It has been doing a lot for me, but I guess this is a particular rough patch I'm hitting at the moment.
As a side note going back down to two loops. I thought I was ready, but I wasn't. Got this very strong paralyzed feeling. I had to take time out today for a good hour or two just to relax my body because I felt all this tension and stress. Too much to process and not enough time to do so, created a sort of backlog of emotions. Maybe I'll move back up to 4 loops again some other time, but for now I'm getting a strong yes from 2 loops and strong no from 4. Lesson learned, listen to your intuition. Don't be afraid of not making fast enough progress and bite off more than you can chew.
