07-06-2017, 05:43 AM
(07-05-2017, 07:12 PM)RisingSon Wrote: Thanks for the insight. I'm in the same boat, sort of isolated out here in the countryside. I've hopped on DMSI 3.1A for the healing and these past 3 days I have been so angry. Mostly it's contractors working for me on my house being incompetent and negligent. That has sent me into an outrage! I've lost sleep over their negligence and disrespect, but they also damaged some stuff so it's deserved. They told me they will fix it but TALK IS CHEAP, mommy lover! I even started carrying a pistol again. I don't expect any major confrontation, but still, it was nice to do some shooting today and blow off some steam. Now I have to go micromanage these punks! They have been avoiding me for the past 2 days, yet need this project finished as much as I do.
The key is definitely channeling that rage and anger into productivity and not getting carried away into the emotion itself. There's definitely a fine line between letting anger empower you vs being controlled by it. DMSI does a pretty good job of channeling it in a productive way from what I've felt so far.
More stuff, I guess this is going to be along the lines of emotional changes. Just been depressed as all hell lately. During my AM6 run and right now on DMSI too. It's nothing new, the sub didn't cause it. Just feels more like world weariness and the subs brought it out more. I think it's just me trying to find my place in this world. Not succumbing to the external pressures. Summer is here and it just doesn't hold the same appeal as when I was younger and it makes me sad. I have a very strong "what's the point" mentality right now. Probably holding onto the past too much, not embracing the future. But I don't know, it just feels like everywhere I turn people just want to assimilate me into a miserable life existence. It's like you want to go for something that would bring joy to your life and the first reaction from people is no, that's not how this works you have to stay down here with us. I'd just like to completely remove this limited perception of life I have right now. The struggle, the settling, the fear based motivations, etc. just so done with it all. Life isn't supposed to be lived this way, contrary to what most people will assert.
