07-04-2017, 10:28 AM
So, this past weekend's social time left a bit to be desired. Both Friday and Saturday nights (different locations) were upbeat, positive, and full of friendliness. About 6 hours in total between both nights, so twice my usual weekly time spent around other people. Lots of compliments, some dance-flirting, some drunken promises from women who probably won't follow up on them, and some intimate contact with women who, for various reasons, I could tell weren't planning on taking things anywhere.
Yeah, that might sound harsh or pessimistic, but I mean it more observationally than it sounds. Of the most physically interactive responders, one was a friend's girlfriend (unwise), another stressed how much she really wanted to become friends with me (non-attracted or protesting it), and another (after having spent a lot of Saturday night wordlessly flirting with me) left the building within a few minutes of grinding me on the dance floor for an entire song. As that exit followed her return to her friends (and included them), I'm not sure if it'd been a pre-planned or unrelated departure (pragmatism), if she'd prompted it (fear, shame, or disappointment), or if they'd persuaded her to leave (fear, shame, jealousy, etc). But the reason itself hardly matters. She'd barely spoken, I hadn't, and I'd never seen her before, so there's probably little chance of us crossing paths again. And lesser opportunities during those 6 hours were... well, lesser opportunities.
Dropped back down to 4 loops too. The stress/anxiety (?) from 6 loops of B seemed to kick up way too much reflux, even while consuming aloe to soothe it, and, after 25+ years of intermittent ulcers and LPR, "Dragon Breath" and "warm chest" imagery isn't going to sell me on unnecessary esophageal damage or avoidable sore throats. If I can get back up to 6 loops eventually, that's great, but, I'd rather stick with something sustainable and balanced than ride the overdo-underdo seesaw. Besides, 4 loops of 3.1-B still seems like a respectable amount.
Yeah, that might sound harsh or pessimistic, but I mean it more observationally than it sounds. Of the most physically interactive responders, one was a friend's girlfriend (unwise), another stressed how much she really wanted to become friends with me (non-attracted or protesting it), and another (after having spent a lot of Saturday night wordlessly flirting with me) left the building within a few minutes of grinding me on the dance floor for an entire song. As that exit followed her return to her friends (and included them), I'm not sure if it'd been a pre-planned or unrelated departure (pragmatism), if she'd prompted it (fear, shame, or disappointment), or if they'd persuaded her to leave (fear, shame, jealousy, etc). But the reason itself hardly matters. She'd barely spoken, I hadn't, and I'd never seen her before, so there's probably little chance of us crossing paths again. And lesser opportunities during those 6 hours were... well, lesser opportunities.
Dropped back down to 4 loops too. The stress/anxiety (?) from 6 loops of B seemed to kick up way too much reflux, even while consuming aloe to soothe it, and, after 25+ years of intermittent ulcers and LPR, "Dragon Breath" and "warm chest" imagery isn't going to sell me on unnecessary esophageal damage or avoidable sore throats. If I can get back up to 6 loops eventually, that's great, but, I'd rather stick with something sustainable and balanced than ride the overdo-underdo seesaw. Besides, 4 loops of 3.1-B still seems like a respectable amount.
